Homestead Farm, Riften: Strategy, Secret weapon, Plan for Rigmor, Day out, Jenny, They have come, New armor, Change of the guard, Off to war.
I have written the journal entry at about 10PM just before setting off for Whiterun where the combined forces of Skyrim will fight for our survival against the New Order.
About half an hour before midnight on the 12th I finally re-entered the living area.
Tendril and Baa’Ren-Dar had been patient and considerate. They knew I was not only watching Rigmor for a while but also getting my thoughts in order.
I had briefly noticed when I had walked into the farmhouse earlier but now I was shocked. Tendril was completely naked. There was an 8yo girl in the house! Did he want her to have nightmares? I doubt that ring I gave Sorella would protect against visions of green dangly things.
I also noticed Baa’Ren-Dar was still carrying his bow. It seemed to be with him all the time since the fight in the forge.
I sat and thanked them both for their patience. I then asked Tendril why he is naked. He said he had a pair of pants on. Baa’Ren-Dar lectured him. Tendril said it was the heat.
This really wasn’t important so I asked Tendril why he is here, apart from it being his farm.
He told me the invasion fleet had been spotted off the coast of Morrowind. I said to both that it was clever for them to come the long way round. Tendril said they should be here anytime soon.
I asked Baa’Ren-Dar if there was any news from Cyrodiil. He said all our allies are in place and ready to pounce.
I suddenly had this vision of Baa’Ren-Dar on all fours, tail in the air, arse wriggling, ready to pounce on something.
Baa’Ren-Dar said the Dominion is ready to strike at the New Order on their Isle.
It seems senior Thalmor did not know of this rebel New Order. More likely they have been caught with their hand in the cookie jar and the New Order was always going to be a convenient scapegoat.
Baa’Ren-Dar explained that Emperor Titus Mede II will feign a Northern troop movement tricking the New Order. They will cross into Cyrodiil only to find Mede’s forces backtracking and crushing them whilst still on the border. I only hope Mede shows more backbone than when he failed to defend the Imperial City.
I said to both that it is up to us to defeat Tilar in Skyrim. Baa’Reb-Dar asked if I had any plans.
I should have guessed. Dragonborn lead armies all the time in the histories and heroic stories and songs. This Dragonborn will lead this army to victory!
Could I? I have no idea if I received any tactical training. I have followed brief strategy discussions with Yngol and Casius. I could picture the advantage of going the long way around like the New Order has done. If I have good commanders around me and in the field I could take advice and simply issue orders. I am confident I could at least look and sound the part. If the legend of Dragonborn helps then why not?
Like I had magically summoned them Yngol and Casius came strolling through the door. They strode over and sat at the table.
I greeted them both and Casius asked if I had any plans for the defence of Skyrim.
Time to play the part! I asked him if he has any. Here is the strategy discussion in full,
“Yngol: We could try and throw them back into the sea but we don’t know when or where they’ll land. Casius: The swamps around Hjaalmarch are not suited to Legion tactics. We will become bogged down. The mud will kill us. Yngol: Yeah, he has to get his army out of the swamp immediately, like a lightning strike within 24 hours of landing. If they take the city of Whiterun, the war in Skyrim is over. He would be free to take Solitude and Windhelm at will.”
Baa’Ren-Dar halted the discussion with a plea for Tendril to put some clothes on. Tendril made some quip about a small force then did a most impressive fart. Baa’Ren-Dar growled and left the house.
We all laughed. I did not laugh at the fart. I laughed at the growl as Rigmor told me he did it and I had been waiting to see it since. As for Tendril, we could use his arse on the front lines!
I told Tendril to go get some clothes on and he left to do so. It was not so much the nakedness, it was in hope trousers would help contain any more emissions.
My brain went into gear and the strategy was clear. I must have had training.
“Wulf: Casius, as soon as they land I want you to move your legion to Whiterun. Casius: Excellent, the walls will protect our right flank. He has no choice but to come for us. We can draw his main force into ground of our choosing and take the head off the serpent. Wulf: You too Yngol. You are to be our shield wall. Yngol: A classic text book manoeuvre. Pin them down and outflank their left. We can use the Whiterun garrison to boost my numbers. Wulf: It’s our best hope but which way will the come? Casius: There are two options open for him. Through the mountain pass at Labyrinthian or across the plains via Dragon Bridge. Either way we will be waiting outside the city. With my encampment on the Pale border and Yngol’s camp outside Windhelm he would need a protracted campaign to take that area. He will avoid it. Yngol: Come Casius, we can discuss logistics on the way back to our garrisons.”
So the plan was in action and they were going to figure out the logistics. Glad they never asked me about logistics. I wouldn’t have the slightest clue!
I walked them to their horses, wished them the best and watched them leave.
Before I entered the farmhouse I decided to speak to Baa’Ren-Dar about Rigmor.
I asked him about the time when he said, “Sometimes to remember who you are, you first need to go back.”
He was puzzled as I had earlier told him that Rigmor had recovered her memories.
I explained that she was still not right. That she had lost her spirit. The essence of who she is. That she thinks parts of who she is can be ignored.
Baa’Ren-Dar suggested she needs something to link her to her past. Something from her childhood perhaps. He asked if Rigmor had confided in me a personal thing that she feels guilty about.
I told him Rigmor thinks she has let her father down. Has not been the “son” he trained her to be.
Baa’Ren-Dar stated what we both know but Rigmor refuses to acknowledge. There is no fault or failure! She could have done nothing to protect her father or mother. He told Rigmor was fuelled by hate and revenge. I had seen that. He said that lessened when Sigunn was rescued. I had seen that also. He stated she needs something to make herself believe her father has approved of all she has done.
I said I thought the speech at Yngol’s camp would have been enough but Rigmor did not think so. I told him she now refuses to carry a blade. How I am starting to think that has to do with feeling unworthy of her father’s training rather than wanting to turn pacifist.
Baa’Ren-Dar told me she needs to rediscover her father’s love. That a reminder must come from the time before her family was torn apart.
I told him of a doll Ragnar had made for Rigmor. That I could try and make one then give it to Rigmor.
He thought it was worth trying.
I thanked him for all his help and went inside the farmhouse to speak to Sigunn.
I asked Sigunn about the doll Ragnar had made for Rigmor. She told me it was a piece of old dowling with a sack cloth dress and string hair. Its name was Jenny.
Sigunn expressed her desire to just take Rigmor back to Bruma. Live a normal life.
I wish I could have told her she would be living in a castle with servants and that Ragnar’s name and reputation will be cleared. That her family will be nobility like before. Alas I couldn’t.
I told Sigunn that I will take Rigmor into Riften to visit the market liked I once promised. That I would take good care of her.
I then went and sat on the chair next to Rigmor. Her breathing was deep and little twitches let me know she was dreaming. I hoped it was about her father hugging her and telling her he was proud and loved her.
I was originally going to sit and mope and worry about how to tackle the final farewell. I had already decided that being as cold as possible was best. I would give the simple facts with an emotionless tone. No renewing any pledges of eternal love. No mentioning of how much I love her at all. This would give her the anger needed to leave and more incentive to move on from me once in Cyrodiil.
It will be like kicking a puppy and telling it to go away until it does. Even though it loves you with all its heart.
Great metaphor Wulf! How to cheer yourself up in one easy step!
I would need to be my internal beast. I will have to fill myself with rage so I can let it do the talking and ignore the breaking of our hearts. Its tone will be soft but hard. It will be factual without elaborating. It will not take pleasure in this.
It is when Rigmor is gone and I put the beast away that scares me.
That plan was already decided and it was several hours before I would wake Rigmor. I sat in the chair and read this journal from the time I met her to now.
I decided whatever happens for the remainder of today, I would fill the journal entry with Rigmor’s happiness, memories and unique perspectives as she shared them with me. It will be a day of love, not heartache.
I woke Rigmor gently then went outside and checked the weather. It was a beautiful sunny day with very little cloud cover.
I removed some items from Dogmeat’s saddlebags. I summoned Blaze and put the items in his saddlebags. Then I unsummoned him. I gave Dogmeat a good pat and assured him Blaze was just for show. I have no idea how much horses understand but he seemed contented.
When I came back inside and checked Rigmor’s room she was not there.
I guessed she was outside enjoying the sunshine and I just hadn’t noticed her.
I wanted to record the day in full so this is what occurred.
I found Rigmor sitting by the lake. As I approached she greeted me with “What a beautiful day Dragonborn!”
I sat next to her and said “I need to grab a few things from Riften.”
“Want me to come with you?”
That’s why I’m here. If you want to come along we could check out the market.
“Hey, I would love that!”
(Rigmor said this with enthusiasm and a smile.)
Well OK then! Let’s go fetch the horses.
She stood up and said, “Wait Dragonborn.”
What is up?
“Yanno, it’s such a beautiful day I thought maybe we could walk.”
(I also wanted to walk but thought it would be fun to play the whining old fart first.)
You’re mad. Riften is a mile down the road!
“Don’t be such an old moaner. Indulge me.”
(Ha! Fell for it.)
The nearest bridge is half a league in the wrong direction.
“Who said anything about a bridge?”
(OK. I admit. This I was not expecting.)
I hope you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking.
“Come on Dragonborn. Where’s your sense of adventure?”
(With that she plunged into the water and challenged me to race her to the other side. In my defence she was wearing a dress and had a head start. I can swim in my armour but only a standing up breast stroke type of thing as my boots point straight down like they are made out of metal, which they are. So she beat me easily to the other side.
When I finally dragged myself out of the water she laughed that wonderful laugh and said, “Hahaha! You look like a drowned skeever.”
(I took off my boots so I could empty half the lake from them and gave her a lecture.)
Hey, seriously now, no running off. The woods around here are dangerous.
(Then she ran off at full speed. I quickly put on my boots and ran after her making annoying squishy sounds with each step.)
(Just as I was about to catch her, and five minutes from catching my breath, Rigmor suddenly stopped. She had noticed a pack of wolves watching but not attacking. Packs of wolves and other things that would find her a tasty meal is why I asked her not to run ahead.)
“Dragonborn, what is it with the wolves?” she asked.
It’s been that way since Sorella ran away.
“What are you talking about? She ran away?”
She was trying to find you. Got herself in serious trouble with a Vampiric cult.
“Oh the Gods! What happened?”
Angi and I tracked her down to a place called Bloodlet Throne and rescued her.
“What did this cult want with her?”
They believed eating the flesh of children kept them young.
“Dragonborn, that’s scary! What is the connection with the wolves?”
As part of the sacrifice ritual they threw Sorella into a pit of wolves. Instead of attacking her the wolves protected her.
“Wow! That’s amazing!”
Yeah, I still can’t figure it out myself. Like you and bears.
“Haha, well I am guessing you slew them all. The Vampires I mean?”
Every single child murdering one of them. Do you believe in ghosts?
(I then decided I would rather hear what Rigmor has to randomly offer today. Maybe, if I ever get the chance, we could talk about ghosts another time.)
Ah, it’s probably nothing. Some other time.
“Come on, let’s go.”
A bit further on Rigmor stopped and exclaimed, “Ah, it’s so beautiful here.”
(Rigmor then sat on a fallen tree and I sat beside her.)
Soon you’ll be able to go home to Cyrodiil. Are you looking forward to that?
(I was hoping I could get some stories of her home.)
“It’s so cold in the mountains of Bruma. We could never have afforded to live in the Imperial City, Chorrol or Cheydinhal. Leyawin was too far South. When I was a little girl we kids would sneak out of the walls of the city and head South into the Great Forest. The trees were so huge Dragonborn! In the mornings or towards evening the mist would rise from the ground. It had an amazing mystical feeling about it. At times we were sure we could see faces in the trees and at any moment they would come to life! Hahaha. We would scare ourselves and just run and run. My Dad, he would come look for us…He would blow a Nordic horn…and we knew it was time to go home…He would be waiting for me with a smile on his face. We would start slowly jogging back to our house…I would try to race him but no matter how fast I ran I could never catch up. I would be so scared he would scold me. He never ever did.”
You must miss him so much.
“And then it all turned to crap!”
(With that she got up and started walking towards Riften again. Today was supposed to be all smiles Wulf. Did you expect “..and they all lived happily ever after!” Get rid of those fucking tears before she notices! I Quickly wiped the traitorous tears away and caught up to Rigmor.)
(A bit further up the road Rigmor once again stopped suddenly. To me it seemed she was mulling things over in her head until she had a question of wanted to just rest and talk.)
I walked up to Rigmor and asked, “What’s up?”
“You know you said back in Winterhold you needed to speak with Jonte about business. What did the old Altmer want. Did it concern me?”
(Half lie? Not the entire truth? Either way this was the second time I have purposely deceived Rigmor.)
He just wanted to make sure you were being looked after. That’s all.
“Are you sure? Cerys was being a bit weird you know.”
(Phew! A change of subject.)
Yeah that was a bit weird. She quickly climbed out of that bed when we entered! I thought she looked guilty.
“Yeah, haha, so did I. You didn’t answer my question!”
(This is an outright lie. Funny how it gets easier with each one.)
He was concerned for your welfare, that’s all.
“Tut. Why is everyone so concerned about me?”
(I felt like telling her that everybody loves her. That might lead to our relationship. Then kissing. Then finding somewhere for more “practice”. So I stuck to something safer.)
Because you are not well. You are not yourself.
This elicited one of Rigmor’s standard dismissals before she moved on again, “Pffft right tut!”
A bit further on she yelled, “Dragonborn, over here!” and ran towards the lake.
As I approached the bench she was sitting on Rigmor said, “That is quite a view huh!”
(I sat down beside her.)
Well, it’s certainly a fitting end to a very long journey.
“How does it make you feel, yanno, sitting here by the lake?”
I feel kinda..relaxed I guess?
“Look at the water Dragonborn.”
(I looked. At first it was just sunlight on ripples on a pretty lake. Then Rigmor taught me what I was really seeing. I will be forever thankful for her opening my eyes once again. What was pretty but mundane will now be an endless source of wisdom and beauty.)
“It’s crystal clear. Cold. Inviting. The sound of water lapping on the bank makes me feel liberated. Ah! The light reflecting of the surface is like…like music to me. All the answers to every question asked bounces in that light. Look too deep…you don’t see anything. It’s all dark but for the light on the surface.”
(I spent glorious minutes next to my beloved looking into the light. No answers came but I knew one day they would. Rigmor just taught me not to look for complex answers all the time. That sometimes the answers will come simply by relaxing, being calm, and thinking. This day Rigmor has given me treasures I will keep and cherish. It is what I hoped for when we set out this morning.)
I reluctantly told Rigmor it is time to do check out the market.
We entered Riften and the sound of the market was immediate. Spruikers, people haggling, the clink of coins exchanged for goods, laughter and children running amok. I could see it was like a Siren’s call to Rigmor, “Come closer. See what treasures await you. Don’t be shy…”
We entered to seeming random chaos of the market and I told Rigmor she can look around. That I would be awhile getting what I needed. I would come and get her when ready to go.
I could see that more than appealed to her! She wanted to know what I was shopping for. I told her honestly, “Oh, just a few bits and bobs.” With that she rushed off to stare at things she wanted but didn’t need.
I think the markets in Bruma will be good places to invest when Countess Rigmor arrives!
I thought that with joy for Rigmor in my heart. When I had a chance to think about what Jonte had told me of her heritage I was overjoyed. I felt nothing but relief her father’s name would be cleared, her name restored and a chance for her to live the comfortable life. I knew that Titus Med II would protect a descendant of the real Mede dynasty as it is revered by all, except the Thalmor of course. All the misery that has surrounded me is the fact it will hurt her to cross that border. I still had no idea what my world without Rigmor will be like. I could mope and think of all the miserable possibilities or continue the day in the positive. I chose the latter.
I enjoyed the market almost as much as Rigmor I think. I would spot her from time to time as I wandered around looking for the things I needed. I saw her asking to look at rings, bracelets, clothes, shoes. She seemed to be fascinated by shoes. Weird because she chooses to run around barefoot when not in armour.
I was getting a bit frustrated finding what I needed. Seemed such trivial items were not worth stocking. Then a shady looking character called me over. Skinny as a rake, an afternoon shadow an Orc grandmother would be proud of and arms that almost came to his knees. Useful for pick pocketing I thought.
I approached him and in the usual shady character whisper he said, “Can’t find what your lookin’ for, I’m your man!”
I asked him who he was and what did he want with me. He said his name was Jimmy Ten Fingers.
Wow! You really have TEN FINGERS! Amazing! Come on Wulf, Sarcasm does not belong in a happy journal entry!
He said he had a good bargain. A gold necklace. All legit. That his poor old auntie took a nasty fall and he needs some gold quickly. To help her get back on her feet.
Yeah, she probably took a nasty fall down some steps after Jimmy pushed her so he could recover the gold necklace from her unconscious or dead body. Ooops! Nice thoughts Wulf, you can do it!
I told him I didn’t need a gold necklace.
Jimmy earnestly boasted he could find what I needed and quickly.
I was starting to think I misjudged him till he asked if I was looking for skooma.
I haven’t started yet but I think a future hobby might be cutting down skooma dealers.
Think of nice things Wulf. Kind things.
I told him I needed to make a doll and was hoping to find the items I needed.
He wanted to know if it was for a child. I told him it was for someone special to me.
He saw me arrive with Rigmor. He called her pretty!
How can this man be an evil sneaky thief if he recognises how pretty Rigmor is. I am a sucker for the easy con!
He sold me the necklace and the few “bits and bobs” for 100GP. Payment on delivery.
Whilst he scuttled of to find what I needed I wandered around.
The blacksmith was doing some mighty fine work. I started chatting to him about it and he said the secret was how hot his forge was. That he used fire salts to generate the heat but was having trouble finding some. I asked how many he needed. Ten he said. I looked in my apothecary satchel which I fill in dungeons between bouts of slaughtering its inhabitants. Since I have not been inside Breezehome since the day I met Baa’Ren-Dar it was getting pretty full. Aha, plenty of them. I gave him ten as needed and refused payment. Another good soul trying to make an honest living.
One lady caught my attention with her claims of how fresh her meat was. She used ice wraith teeth but had not had a chance to replenish her supplies. I asked how many did she needed. Six would suffice. Delved into my apothecary bag and there were plenty due to our recent visit North. I gave her twelve, refused payment and moved on.
I gave a very poor looking beggar a gold coin for his supper.
I saw Jimmy reappear and wave me over.
He had what I wanted so I more than happily paid him the 100GP. The necklace was of very fine quality. I probably paid more than it would cost at a stall but the smile on Rigmor’s face will be worth it. Just like the time I paid for the dress she is wearing.
Jimmy told me he has to go attend to his boat and thanked me for the custom.
I walked up to Rigmor and asked if she was enjoying herself.
She replied, “Yanno, if I ever had to choose between Bruma or Riften, that would be a hard call.”
I was momentarily tempted to tell Rigmor she could stay in Riften. That she did not have to return to Cyrodiil.
Temptation lost out to reality but I was rattled. I mumbled what was going through my head. I told Rigmor that fate sometimes removes freedom of choice. Lucky for me she did not hear that fatalistic garbage on such as day. She simply said, “What?”
I told her I had everything I needed but she could not leave the market empty handed.
I gave her the necklace. Her face lit up. She loved it and put it on.
Worth every gold piece!
I told Rigmor it was time to head back. She told me her legs are tired. I offered to race her back. She laughed but was not impressed.
I told Rigmor I was only kidding and we would take a boat across the lake. We headed off to find Jimmy.
We found Jimmy and I offered him good coin to row us to the farm.
Rigmor found the boat ride to be fun as well. She was having a fantastic day and so was I.
When we were back on the farm I told Rigmor how much I had enjoyed today. She had as well. I could see it had worn her out quite a bit. I suggested we go into the house and get some rest.
We walked into the farmhouse and Rigmor did a quick hello to everybody and headed for her room.
Yngol was there and I knew what news he brought.
I walked up to him and asked, “They’re here aren’t they?”
He replied “They’ve already taken Morthal. As far as we know a battalion of enemy Bosmer Auxiliaries are heading for Dragon Bridge. Advanced units are in the mountain pass heading straight for Whiterun.”
I asked, “Are we in position?”
He replied, “Casius and I immediately moved our men to the designated ground outside Whiterun.”
I asked, “What time do you think they will be in position to attack?”
Yngol replied “They would be insane to attack in the dark. I would say early morning, five thirty, six o’clock but not much later.”
I told him to head back to Whiterun and tell Casius that I should be there in plenty of time. Four O’Clock at the latest.
Yngol said it would be done and immediately set off for Whiterun.
I went and spoke to Rigmor. I told her, no arguments allowed, that Lydia and Meeko are her guardians while I am away. I told Rigmor she can’t order them to leave her be, go away or try to bite them. That got a giggle. She agreed. She looked so tired.
I sat and talked to Tendril. I told him I wanted him to get everybody safe if we lose. I told him the guardian arrangements I am making and they are to be respected. I emphasised how much I would be counting on him if the worse comes to pass.
This was his reply, “Lose? I’m afraid that it’s a little too late for that. You see, everyone is counting on you Dragonborn. I don’t just mean Rigmor, Sigunn, Angi and Sorella. Can you imagine the fate that awaits the people of Skyrim if you lose? Even if Mede does defeat the army in the South it would take ages to muster enough forces to dislodge Tilar from the strongholds. If that is even possible! I’ll wager he would just fortify his Northern border. Try diplomacy and eventually cut Skyrim loose. Look what he did with Hammerfell! Let’s face it, Skyrim is expendable. A mountainous, cold, desolate place filled with dissent and unrest. This barren land will become the beginnings of a New Dominion of an Elven God King in waiting! No, losing is not an option. Only do or die Dragonborn…do or die. And on that high note, I think I’ll hit the sack.”
I sarcastically said to him, “Well thank you for that light note Tendril. I feel much better now!”
He replied, “Just go out there and do what you do. Yngol, Varon and all those brave men and women out there believe in you. They would follow you into Oblivion if you commanded it. They know you went there and came out alive. That you kicked arse. Do you know what they’re calling you out there?”
After all those stories that have been circulating about my imaginary sexual exploits and massive daily dragon slaughters I would hate to guess. So I asked, “What are they calling me?”
Tendril replied, “Guardian General. Don’t underestimate yourself my friend. Even if they have the numbers it doesn’t give them a victory by a long chalk. It is all about the moral, the terrain, the weather, taking risks. Of course a bit of luck helps. Seize the moment Dragonborn!”
I thanked him sincerely. I started out suspecting this man of being nothing but a thief and sneak. He has proven to be a good friend and ally. His sense of humour matches mine as well.
He said, “As it happens, if by perchance you do lose and your head finds a nice new home on the battlements of Whiterun, I have a nice little bolt hole in Morrowind. I’ll be happy to take all my current residents I have living here. So don’t you worry now.”
I said to him, “I am sure Azura would lend aid if asked.”
He knows the fickleness of a God. Tendril said, “Maybe. Depends on if she got any the night before and is in a good mood. Oh, almost forgot. An Imperial wagon turned up this afternoon. Dropped of that lovely armour in the corner. The wagon driver did not know who sent it. Just to deliver it. I suspect Baa’Ren-Dar told them where we were. I checked it out and it has the mark of a blacksmith who exclusively works for the High Council. It is a clever design. Imperial in style with Stormcloak colouring.”
I thanked him again and told him to get some sleep.
The armour will have to wait. I had something urgent to do. Sorella’s million questions to Rigmor about our shopping trip might run out. Rigmor sounded like she was ready to collapse but always found time for the little girl we rescued. After hearing about Sorella’s vampire adventure I am sure her affection for the orphan is even bigger.
I left the farmhouse and approached Lydia and Meeko.
I explained that I would be going off to war this night.
Lydia was adamant she was coming. That the defence of Whiterun was her duty! She then realised her error and started apologising to her Thane.
I stopped her. I told her I would love to have her by my side but Rigmor will need guarding.
Lydia had guessed the depth of my feelings for Rigmor days ago. She knew what I was entrusting her with. She started apologising again and I shushed her. I told her no apology needed. That I know she loves Whiterun and its people.
I looked at them both and made it clear that she is not to go anywhere without them. She can yell and stamp her feet and throw things and threaten bodily harm but they must not leave her side. I told them Rigmor was informed of this.
I also told them that if we lose the battle they are to listen to Tendril. He will get them to relative safety in Morrowind. If I am suspected or known to be dead Rigmor will need all the support she can get. It would be up to them if they offer their services to Rigmor permanently or not.
I gave Meeko a good long pat. Then Lydia surprised me with a huge hug. Maybe I am becoming more of a friend than a Thane.
I walked to the little workbench in the shed and made Jenny.
I walked into the farmhouse and into Rigmor’s room. Sorella had finally collapsed onto her bed and was fast asleep. Rigmor’s eyelids were drooping. I know she was waiting for me to say goodnight.
I said her name to get her attention, “Rigmor.”
I know you haven’t been well lately. There are some things I need to say.
“Dragonborn, it’s OK…you don’t have to…”
No, please Rigmor. Hear me out.
No words can explain how I feel about you. How much I love and care for you.
“I love you too silly.”
All I have done to have you here with me now, I would do again in a heartbeat.
“I’m sorry I let you down.”
You have not let me down! You never have and never would! All that matters to me is that you are safe and well and to hell with all whom think you should fight when you don’t want to!
I need to take care of business. Before I go I have something for you.
“You have? What is it?”
I want you to have this.
I held out the doll and Rigmor gave a delighted cry of “Jenny!”
She gently took it out of my hand. Her reserves were gone.
She lay down and assumed her oh so familiar sleeping position. One that I have watched for what seems like eternity. Jenny was next to her. I was so glad I did a good enough replica.
I watched until she was fast asleep. I leant over and gently kissed her forehead and whispered, “I love you.”
I knelt in prayer to The Divines. I hardly ever asked them for anything. I asked they keep Rigmor safe no matter the outcome of the war.
I then took a look at my beloved for what may be the last time and left the room.
I walked over and inspected the armour. It would have cost a fortune! I would wear it for this war and if victorious put it proudly on display in my home. I preferred the armour I normally wear. It has become as familiar as my own skin.
I put on the armour and of course it fitted perfectly. It was supposed to represent a neutral leader, neither Imperial nor Stormcloak. I could forgive the small imperial symbols here and there but the huge one on the shield was far from neutral. Besides, it was of a large kite design and I preferred smaller round shields. Instead of the one supplied I decided to use my old battered wooden one that has served me well so far.
I sat and wrote this journal entry knowing I had plenty of time to get to Whiterun.
I do not intend to wake anybody to say goodbye. I know in my heart they all wished me well.
So off to war I go. I will ride Blaze into battle. I want enemy soldiers to know doom at my hands was coming for them.
No matter the outcome my greatest wish is for Rigmor to survive it all and find happiness.