Just over a year ago I started this blog.
Nearly 1.2 million words in draft form.
Nearly 800,000 words published.
Over 6000 live game screenshots taken and 3000 saved games.
Over 300 posed screenshots.
If you add all the hours over that year at minimum 7 hours per day that is 2,555 hours or 106.45 days of writing, composition and publishing.
I started the blog for two reasons.
Firstly Rigmor’s story needed expanding upon. There are few people who have played the mods who do not feel some emotional connection to this Nordling with a destiny. I will admit that I was an emotional wreck for days, if not weeks, the first time I said goodbye at that damn border!
(It is completely different in the RoB remake. Still emotional and a lot has been borrowed from my journal. They get to spend a lot more time together in the remake. It is brilliant!)
Then I finally got to load up RoC after years of waiting and my initial joy at seeing Rigmor again was slowly replaced by genuine despair. She was going to marry some nobody called Bobby after I had remained faithful and saved the world a gazillion times! I would have stopped playing, deleted the game from my hard disk and never mentioned her name again if she actually did choose him. My wife laughed at how emotionally wrecked I was playing a ‘stupid game!’
The real spark to write the blog happened just after Rigmor and Wulf jumped off a cliff and swam across a lake. Rigmor asked Wulf about his childhood and he can’t remember one.
All those words and journal entries later and he still does not know why they took his childhood from him!
I did a series of childhood memory screenshots and I had Wulf and his little girlfriend having a picnic at the exact spot Rigmor asked that question years later. To me that showed how precious were the things The Divine have stolen.
Second reason I started the blog is to keep my brain moving and keep the black dog at bay.
I am a narcoleptic and most days go down for at least a four hour ‘nap’ in the afternoon.
The condition took my career away when I was finally at the top after thirty years of hard work.
My brain does not want to work like it used to. Writing exercises the part most damaged. That is why I have to take those naps. It is exhausting forcing it to work like it used to.
Losing your chosen career is a shock. The suicide rate amongst those with narcolepsy is well above the average. People do not understand the condition. This is the easiest explanation.
Stay awake for forty eight hours and then try to do your job, watch TV, read a book. Then you will know what we feel like every single day.
The large screenshot in this entry is one of my favourite parts of the mods. Just Rigmor, Wulf and the quiet they share. No pull of destiny or fate or prophecy. No Gods, no violence, no expectations. Just love.
Of all the screenshots I have ever done, young Wulf and his parents in Aetherius is my number one.
The preliminary work on RoT for one character is sad and uplifting as forgiveness is sought for and given by an old enemy. If Jim can keep that level of emotional investment going it will be brilliant beyond words!
In recent entries I have provided a bit of a clue as to what all of Tamriel , not just The Empire, will face when the Akaviri finally land. You are going to have to choose paths of conciliation or war. Those of you who have role played your Dragonborn might have to change your moralistic and/or idealistic outlook.
Rigmor may not agree with your choice!
I would love to hear what people’s favourite parts of the journey have been so far. Not just Wulf’s but your own travels with High Queen Rigmor.
What do you hope happens during RoT and what do you think the ending of the mods should be?
6 thoughts on “BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WULF’S JOURNALS!”
Honestly I don’t know how I want it to end a part me wants wulf and rigmor to get there happy ending and another part of me wants it to all go out with something crazy but I really don’t want it to end as it’s been a part of my life for so long so honestly I have know idea how I want it to end
You will have several options but RoT is likely to be in three or even four parts so a few years of releases left. There is so much ground to cover and logical divisions of what needs to be done to prepare for the invasion, fight the invasion and for the handing over of power to Empress Kintyra Septim III. Or Empress Potema :).
What you’ve done in the past year is absolutely amazing, Mark! Thank you for keeping it up, despite the many challenges. I would especially like to know a lot more about how you did all the posing. That must have taken an immense amount of time!
I was also very emotional at the separation between Rigmor and the Dragonborn when playing RoB, and I’m looking forward to how the new version will be. And yes, when I saw Rigmor was engaged to Bobby, my first reaction was very similar to yours. I wouldn’t have been able to play on if Rigmor had chosen him and gotten married. That would have been awful! The only other time I felt that awful was when they killed off Kasia in Maids II – Deception. I did finish the mod, but it was emotionally empty for me after that. I’ll need to ask my wife sometime what she thinks about my being an emotional wreck after playing a “silly” game. LOL
In regard to ending, well, I’m a hopeless romantic, so only a happy ending would be good for me. Meaning Rigmor and the Dragonborn happy and Kintyra safely on the throne.
The posing can take some time and is mainly done through this program.
I have well over 30,000 poses to go with it.
As for Deception. The death of Kasia was not needed. It played no part in the rest of the mod. No revenge or anything else remotely associated with it. It became a non-event. I lost interest after it and it took me months to bother returning and finishing the mod.
I feel exactly the same as Peter, I have pictured Rigmor and Dragonborn on their farm as Rigmor once said, “I will sit on the veranda havind a drink while watching you toiling in the field “. That is how I hope it ends It has been good starting to read this 12 months late because I could read a couple of journals a night, now I’m getting close to the current entries. Bugger.
I am churning them out as quick as I can, but some are very large, and health issues still get in the way. You might also notice a change in my writing style with the latest entries. Previously I have not been too concerned about grammar as that prolongs the writing period, and I would rather just publish than sweat over split infinitives or passive sentences. But I am usually a stickler for grammar so have put in the extra effort required. The only mistakes that should remain in the newer entries are those in the books quoted and dialogue from mod authors.