Rigmor of Bruma quests: The Promise, Sorella, Homestead.

“Guardian, Awake!”

Instant awareness, like when I awoke on the carriage to Helgen. But I have my memories this time and…

“RIGMOR! OH, DEAR GODS, RIGMOR!”

“Approach Azura’s Bane so I can join with you.”

“You aren’t getting into my head. Nobody gets into my head!”

I stood and took in my surroundings. Scattered about the room were dead Elite Guards. Even the larger pools of blood were congealed. That doesn’t happen in less than a couple of days.

I turned to Azura’s Bane and took a few steps forward. Azura’s avatar floated above it.

“Rigmor… where can I find Rigmor? Is she still alive? She loves me! I failed her, and I love her too! I have to tell her. Please, where is she?”

“She is alive. There is a very important reason they need her unharmed, but I cannot sense why. A very powerful force is obscuring my powers.”

“She is alive! She was also alive when Baa’Ren-Dar rescued her, so forgive me if I take little notice of the ‘unharmed’ claim.”

“I am still weak from shielding you from the cold, you were near death, but now alive.”

“I was told you took my soul into Moonshadow, and that it would almost completely drain your existing power on Nirn to repair my physical body and keep me from entering The Void.”

“I sensed a visiting Entity. His type cannot exist on the same plane as mine, but we cross paths occasionally.”

“Where have they have taken her?”

“I will need to regain my strength to know where they have taken her and why.

“You used the power of Magnus to heal me, so I too am weak. How long did you fight to keep The Void at bay?”

“You slumbered in the twilight of existence for over three days.”

“I thank you for that effort, Lady Azura.”

“You helped thwart the Forces of Evil and have restored the essence of my power. So, I restored your life Guardian, for I will need to call upon your services again very soon.”

“You might have to stand in a queue.”

Azura has compassion, but I doubt she has a sense of humour.

“My children in this realm are in danger, so the Entity must be stopped.”

“I fight for all mortals, Lady Azura. This Entity is a usurper, as you called it if it is trying to wrest control of Nirn from its creators. If that is its ambition, then it is no different than a mortal tyrant invading and enslaving the inhabitants of a nation. But it could we be aiming for the destruction of Nirn and Mundus as some of your kind continuously attempt.”

“I can sense it’s rage and fury. The Entity wants justice and revenge. It wants transformation to be whole, complete.”

“There are several of your kind that fit that description. But there are plenty of powerful mortals as well.”

“If it is successful in entering this realm, it will become unstoppable. The Entity will conduct an act of frenzied violent revenge that can only be quenched with the blood of mortals. All will die, Tamriel is to be cleansed.”

Azura was overdramatic again. She is also putting forward speculation as fact which I hate! I will address her inaccuracies later.

“What about the New Order?”

“They still need to establish themselves, but they have almost completed a portal to Oblivion.”

“All Oblivion Gates have a flaw. They can be destroyed by one brave enough and skilled enough to enter.”

“It will need to be destroyed before the Entity passes transformed into this realm.”

“It is most likely where they have Rigmor. If the Oblivion Gate and Rigmor are in different places, Rigmor will be my priority. I am nothing without her.”

“Make sure the evidence you have gathered is made available to those that need it. Until I regain my strength, the Forces of Evil must be undermined at every step.”

This nonsense was taxing my patience. I asked, “What happened to Casius and Yngol? They were going to destroy the Forge then join Rigmor and me.”

The collapse was total, everything was destroyed, and they could not reach you. Oh, how they tried! But it was in vain, and they are now full of remorse. They believe both Rigmor and you died and have returned to their units to prepare for the worst.”

“Neither Rigmor nor I am crucial to winning the battles to come. Our demise should make no difference. What about those who love Rigmor? Baa’Ren-Dar, Angi, Sigunn and Sorella.”

“They are safe, but they are at a loss as to what to do next. They are hiding at the mountain camp of the Huntress for safety. I sense a deep sadness, Guardian.”

“I will go to them and tell them Rigmor lives. I doubt they are safe at Angi’s place even if Aedriath thinks I am dead and he has Rigmor.”

“Go quickly my Champion, take Azura’s Bane, you are now its chosen keeper. I will send a messenger when the time comes. Go, your friends are waiting.”

Lady Azura’s avatar left the mortal plane.

I picked up Azura’s Bane and did some two-handed forms with it. I was impressed with the weapon but could not do it justice as Rigmor did.

I looked out at the carnage once more. The littered corpses were sacrifices. I knew there were only twelve sets of the Black Diamond armour, and we killed nine Elite Guards. The other three I assumed were with Aedriath and that he had run away like a snivelling coward. But he hadn’t. He had placed the sugar, and this fly lapped it up.

This whole thing was a trap that was meticulously planned and executed. Aedriath may have hoped the extensive forces in the mines and Forge would stop us. But that endangered Rigmor and makes me question Azura’s claim they needed her alive for some important reason. They looked pretty intent on killing her!

Maybe Aedriath wasn’t aware of Rigmor’s importance? His journal indeed indicated him, and the leaders of the New Order are not the best of friends. He might have taken Rigmor to continue his depraved torture and execution then lost her to those higher up. His toy snatched away.

But he knew if we made it to the dungeon the forces there could not stop us if the far superior numbers in the mines and Forge hadn’t. They were sacrificed so we would find the first bait, Sigunn, and not be suspicious.

Did he think we would just run back home with Sigunn or risk entering this fort with her in tow? He could not know for sure that we would bring allies. We hadn’t. They turned up after we had cleared the mines.

With Sigunn in tow or not, he knew we would come after him. He waited for when we would be full of confidence and maybe not as alert as we should have been.

The old man was right. Love made me vulnerable. Those three words consumed my thoughts, and I became an easy target. The trap snapped shut, and here I am. For the first time since a few hours after awakening, I am without Rigmor.

Azura was full of melodramatic speculation and chest-beating.

There is no powerful force obscuring her power. On the mortal plane, she has no power outside the limited functions provided by the Black Diamonds. Azura has no idea why they would need Rigmor or where they have taken her because no mortal seer has had visions that she can decipher to obtain that information. That is the reason for her lack of knowledge, not some powerful force thwarting her power!

Azura has always claimed omnipotence and the Dwemer suffered when they proved that was not the truth!

Azura has no idea who the Entity is yet claimed to know his motivation and what his actions on Nirn will be. Pure speculation presented as facts. I hate that!

As for the claim the Entity would be unstoppable…what a load of bovine manure!

Mehrunes Dagon was stopped by mortals and The Divine, thereby ending the Oblivion Crises.

Azura provided information to Sul, one of her previous Champions. Sul used that information to help mortals stop Lord Umbriel, thus ending the Umbriel Crises.

Mortals and gods stopped Molag Bal’s Planemeld. Both Aedra and Daedra helped mortals against Molag Bal on that occasion.

Azura knows the Nerevarine prevented similar dangers as he was also her Champion as well as an agent of The Divine.

This ‘Entity’ would cause much damage and death, so his entry must be thwarted. But he would not be unstoppable!

Azura helped me because she thinks I am the only one who can stop the New Order and the Entity. She did not do it out of compassion.

I never got a chance to speak to Rigmor in-depth about Azura’s claims. Azura, like all other gods, be they Aedra or Daedra or another form, have minimal powers on the mortal plane. That was the whole purpose of the Dragonfires and is now the purpose of Martin’s barrier. In summation:

• Azura did not prevent the tearing apart of Rigmor’s family. She did not have the power to do so.
• Azura did not prevent the beatings and whippings Rigmor suffered. She did not have the power to do so.
• Azura did not stop Rigmor dying. That was Rigmor’s will, pure and simple.
• Azura may have manipulated people. With the information provided by her seers, that is possible.

So why has Azura taken such interest in Rigmor?

There is this whole destiny thing hanging over Rigmor. Azura said she would find her destiny here, but all she found was her nightmare renewed. Why did The Divines send me to meet with Rigmor?

I have no answer as yet to why gods have taken an interest in my beloved.

My bearded visitor said that love caused my brush with death but would allow me to live as Azura’s power would not be enough. That is something I do believe. Somehow, he was in my head when I thought nothing could get in there. I knew what he spoke was sincere, including the fact that The Divines are always with me.

While on the edge of The Void, my love for Rigmor helped drag me back. Such is its power.

I will use our love to get Rigmor back. It will lend strength to every spell, Shout and weapon swing. It will remove all pity and mercy for those who stand in my way. I will be a Dragonborn of legend, and even gods will fear the power of our love!

Despair is the enemy of action. Rigmor is alive, so I must not despair. Rigmor needs me, and I can’t fail her again!

I closed my eyes and tried to remember from where I heard the Elite Guard enter and leave. I chose the door and approached it. On the ground was a red mountain flower. A bit wilted but it would have been fresh when Rigmor dropped it. Almost certainly one of those she picked at The Lookout.

I picked it up and stared at it. Unbidden tears rolled down my cheeks. My beautiful, wonderful Rigmor saw me shot in the throat and stabbed yet still believed I would find her and rescue her. Such faith in me even when I failed to keep the promise made moments earlier, and such presence of mind when her worst nightmare was unfolding humbled me.

Mercy? Maybe she was begging on her captor’s behalf knowing I would let my dragon loose.

I walked through the door full of confidence

It was dark, so I used my lantern. I did not want to miss any flowers.

I picked up the second flower before another door.

A third flower was placed before yet another door.

The fourth flower was squashed and more faded than the previous three. It was the one I had in my pocket next to my heart. Rigmor had placed it in her brassiere. She must have put it somewhere else later on. It was at the foot of a ladder leading to a trapdoor. I picked it up and put it in my pocket, next to my heart one more.

I climbed the ladder and through the trapdoor.

It was about 2:30 AM when I emerged into the fresh air. I knew what time it was before I even looked at the stars. I have found I have an affinity for the flow of time for which I have no explanation. It may have something to do with my Dovah half, but that is speculation.

I had to do some careful climbing.

Once safely on the ground, I tried the Hashire summoning spell.

I thought he would appear in front of me. Instead, he came from the ether to my left and whinnied his hello.

It had taken roughly an hour to climb down and summon my horse. This affinity for time’s relentless flow might be a curse if anxiety about Rigmor got hold of me.

I planned to ride to Solitude and take a carriage to Falkreath.

I arrived at the Solitude Stables just after 8:00 AM. Magicka was used to heal my wounds, the power of Magnus, and I was fatigued the same way Rigmor was when I healed her. I hired the carriage and fell asleep. The driver had to wake me at the end of the journey.

At close to 12:30 PM I mounted Hashire and headed for Angi’s from Falkreath Stables.

Yet more bandits had populated the overpass near the turnoff to Angi’s. I grinned as Cyclone made them scream as they plummeted to their deaths. My Dovah was already in full ascendance.

When I reached Angi’s welcome sign, I heard Meeko’s welcoming bark.

As I slowly rode up the slight hill into Angi’s place, Sorella ran around with Meeko telling everybody, “Dragonborn. It’s the Dragonborn. They’re back!”

Wrong Sorella. But that is OK, soon everybody will know about my unforgivable failure.

They all came out to greet the triumphant return of their Rigmor and her infallible Guardian.

Sigunn’s asked, “Where is Rigmor?”

“I am so sorry, Sigunn. Rigmor is still alive, but the New Order have her.”

Sigunn’s face went pale as she exclaimed, “Oh no!”

Sorella turned to face me and spat out, “I hate you! I hate you!”.

As the little girl ran to the tent sobbing, I knew how she felt. But I can’t indulge in self-hate right now. Maybe later when Rigmor is safe with those who can protect her and not her ‘Guardian’.

Angi stormed off to comfort Sorella. I am sure she will serve up her portion of contempt later.

Sigunn asked me, “How do you know she is still alive?”

“Two reasons. Azura told me, and I would know if Rigmor died. My heart would break.”

“Why would they keep her alive?”

“Azura says the New Order needs her unharmed but doesn’t know why.”

I didn’t mention to Sigunn the more likely reason. They want to display the Daughter of the Beast of Hammerfell as well as prolong her suffering. No mother would like to hear that!

“But why, Dragonborn? I don’t understand.”

“All I know at the moment is there are forces behind the New Order. Mighty forces. Their intentions were not as we have thought up to now. We will have to gather more information to understand it all.”

“Thank the Gods she is alive! I will try and calm Sorella.”

Sigunn walked to the tent to join Angi’s attempt at calming the hysterical Sorella. A child’s laughter is the most precious thing on Nirn. A child tears the least wanted.

I told Baa’Ren-Dar, “We have to talk!”

“This one suggests we retire to Rigmor’s tent as Khajiit thinks some things are better discussed in private. Yes?”

“Definitely! I will be there in a minute as I need to speak to Lydia.”

Lydia had been patiently waiting for me to give her some idea of what was going on.

“My Thane, I can see by your face that much has transpired. This place has been a den of misery after the news came through that Rigmor and you were missing. Everybody assumed both of you to be buried in the rubble of some fort.”

“I failed to protect Rigmor. I walked into a trap, and now the New Order has her.”

“I am sure it is not as simple as that. A blind man in a dark room could see the love you and Rigmor share. The embers were there when I became your Housecarl, but when you were here last week, it was like an out of control wildfire! I know that feeling. Your soulmate is all that matters. You will get her back, and she will scold you for thinking you somehow failed her. Nobody expects Wulf to be perfect except for Wulf. She told me that the first night in Breezehome.”

“Before or after she told you I was dropped on my head?”

“Have you been searching for her these last few days?”

“I was shot in the neck and stabbed in the belly twice. If a god had not intervened, I would have died. I teetered on the edge of The Void. Azura pulled me back from that edge with the additional power of my love for Rigmor.”

“I will go and see if I can help with Sorella. We have become a kind of wise women circle, and Sigunn is our newest member.”

“Thank you, Lydia.”

The goat went “Maaa!”

I replied, “Maaa!”

Meeko said, “Woof!”

I replied, “Woof!” then walked into the tent.

Baa’Ren-Dar looked concerned. I said to him, “The New Order is not content with defeating The Empire. Their real objective is to allow an Entity from Oblivion to cross onto the mortal plane.”

“Who told you this?”

“Azura told Rigmor. Rigmor was, for a short time, Azura’s Champion. After battling to keep me alive for three days, Azura told me again when I finally awoke. The sword I have on my back can only be wielded by Azura’s Champion which is now me.”

“Do we know who this ‘Entity’ is?”

“No. There are too many possible candidates and not enough information even to speculate.”

“Is the New Order’s establishment needed for it to manifest on Nirn?”

“I don’t see why. As an army already in a position of power and ready to conquer more territory, it would be desirable. It does not have to be established for the Oblivion Gate to work. They have constructed one, but I do not know how they will open it. That usually takes some metaphysical mumbo jumbo disguised as a ritual. I have my suspicions but do not dwell on the horror of them. I am willing to wait and find out more before I start to panic.”

“Does that horror involve Rigmor?”

“It would make the pieces of the puzzle fit, would it not?”

“Yes, Guardian, it would.”

“Please, call me Dragonborn. I have lost any right to the other title.”

“This one will not indulge your self-recrimination. I assume Tilar Aedriath outmanoeuvred you?”

“Yes, despite your warnings, he was too clever. He struck as I was helpless. Seconds after Rigmor declared her love for me.”

“The solution to that confusion was not as you declared when leaving Riften?”

“No Bar’Ren-Dar. Another god visited and told me how powerful our love is. I will use it to save her and destroy those who harmed her.”

“And who was this other god?”

“I assume one of The Nine but am uncertain. I know I loved him.”

“This one does not know much about the workings of the gods. This one does know the power of love, so Khajiit is heartened to hear you both came to your senses.”

“I never got to tell her Bar’Ren-Dar! She told me, and then Aedriath struck.”

“Then Khajiit thinks you had better find Rigmor so you can tell her.”

“I am at a loss as what to do next. Azura is probably waiting on something from her seers.”

“This one brought Sigunn here because he thought it would be safe. But nowhere is safe.”

“Azura thought I was an idiot and reminded me I should pass these documents on to you.”

I passed the old Khajiit the relevant documents.

Bar’Ren-Dar read the documents almost as fast as I can. A handy skill in the games of politics and espionage.

Bar’Ren-Dar looked at me with an even grimmer expression on his face then said, “This one would never have believed it. Tamriel is in grave danger!”

“Not just Tamriel. A megalomaniac with the power to cross over from Oblivion is a danger to all mortals on Nirn.”

“This one will need to travel to Cyrodiil right away with these documents, so you will need to stay here and protect the women and child until my return.”

“I need to find Rigmor!”

“Dragonborn does not know where to start. If he remains here, I know where to find him and give him information. This one thinks that makes sense.”

“That one I would not like to play cards against.”

“Dragonborn, you are going to have to think straight. Put the suspicions and horror and feelings of failure aside. We both know you were sent by the gods to be Rigmor’s Guardian. They would not send somebody they did not have great faith in.”

“That is one of the puzzles Bar’Ren-Dar. Why have the gods taken such interest in Rigmor of Bruma?”

“Maybe they have seen into her heart like Khajiit and Dragonborn?”

“You have shown to be a warrior as well as a diplomat. Is bard on your list of previous occupations?”

“Ask Rigmor when you find her. I was never allowed to sing lullabies.”

“Travel safely, Bar’Ren-Dar.”

“Take care of them Dragonborn, if they find us here…”

“You know I will protect them with my life. They would need an army to get past the ‘Get Lost’ sign.”

I thought about it then decided. I said to Bar’Ren-Dar, “I never promise on an unknown with so many variables, but I will this time. I, Wulf, Dragonborn and Champion of The Divines, do at this moment swear I will find Rigmor and bring her home!”

Bar’Ren-Dar nodded as he knew that oath was sacred.

I watched Bar’Ren-Dar run out of the compound like he was a quarter of his age. How old is he anyway?

I couldn’t hear anything being thrown or sobbing or hysterical screaming so I assumed Sorella had calmed down.

I entered Angi’s cabin. Sigunn was standing near the doorway of Sorella and Angi’s room.

I whispered to her, “How is Sorella?”

Sigunn replied at a normal volume, “She’s asleep. Don’t worry. She’ll be fine.”

“Do you want to discuss what is happening?”

“Yes, please.”

We sat on the chairs, then I asked Sigunn, “How are you?”

“OK, I guess. It’s just weird, you know. After all that time, we are finally reunited. And now Rigmor is gone again. It is like a curse.”

“I will find her and get her back Sigunn. I swore an oath to Bar’Ren-Dar I would. I also made a promise to Rigmor to always be by her side and to never let her go.”

I don’t know what the other ladies have been gossiping, but I got the impression Sigunn knows about my feelings for her daughter.

Sigunn smiled then said, “Rigmor was such a good little girl. She wanted to be a teacher one day, then a singer the next. I hardly recognised her, you know, at the prison. I feel guilty about that, how could I do such a thing?”

“I bet every day, over and over, you replayed conversations and other memories of Rigmor and Ragnar. The last time you saw Rigmor or heard her speak, she was fourteen, had her hair and was probably dressed in some finery. Fourteen is not exactly a little girl but certainly not the woman who you saw in that prison. She is now inches taller, bigger in certain places, ahem, and was dressed in a tin can with no hair! But you did recognise her! You knew it was your little girl! Even if you said, ‘Who are you?’ and Rigmor had to tell you it would have been a special moment!”

“Special enough to make her Guardian cry?”

“Yes, and I did cry, and for many reasons. I knew how much Rigmor yearned to find you.”

“You are right about replaying those memories. I remember when Rigmor was about seven. Ragnar had made her a doll. It was just dowling for arms and legs with a sackcloth dress and string hair. But Rigmor’s face lit up with the biggest smile when Ragnar handed it to her. She wouldn’t go anywhere without it.”

“I bet she valued it more than the spoiled rich children value the bedrooms full of toys they have. The overabundance added to when father occasionally buys another expensive toy because that is the ‘done’ thing.”

“Rigmor would play rough and tumble with the boys and fight in the snow. They would throw snowballs at guards until they chased them off.”

“No wonder her hands started twitching when we walked through Windhelm!”

Sigunn laughed, and it was an echo of Rigmor’s. Ragnar never stood a chance!

“One day, the doll went missing. One of the boys told her a new neighbour, a Dark Elf girl, had stolen it. I took Rigmor to their house, and the girl’s father apologised and gave back the doll. Rigmor saw the little girl was hiding behind her father crying. She handed the doll to the little Dark Elf girl and said, ‘Why don’t you keep it?’ then ran home. Ragnar made her another one, and the girls became inseparable.”

My traitorous eyes gave me away once more. I quickly turned from Sigunn.

I waited a few seconds to compose myself then turned back to Sigunn and said, “That sounds like the Rigmor I know.”

Like Bar’Ren-Dar, Sigunn knew her daughter had a suitor. It was not hard to see. Big blubbering barbarians don’t come along very often.

Sigunn continued, “You were right, Guardian. Memories like that kept me alive. I knew that while there was a chance that she was alive too, there could come a day when we would be together again.”

“Both you and Rigmor have such incredible strength. I am truly in awe.”

“Sometimes, I wanted just to give up. Get it over with and see my beloved Ragnar again. But I would always see that little girl playing, or trying on dresses or chasing the boys.”

“Were red dresses a favourite even then?”

“Yes, they were! She was wearing one when they came for us. I tried to hold onto her. She was crying when they wrenched her from me. She kicked and screamed, and I couldn’t do anything. I tried to reassure her. I told her everything would be alright and to go with them. I wanted to die.”

In my head, Rigmor’s voice cried out, “Dragonborn! No! No! Dragonborn help! No, please, leave him alone. You have me! Help me! Mercy!”

“Guardian, what’s wrong?”

“Forgive me, Sigunn. I was supposed to be her Guardian. I was never supposed to let her go!”

I rushed outside, and Lydia could see my distress. She asked, “What is wrong, Wulf?”

“Nothing, Lydia. I just need to rest. Stay alert as there is more than just the New Order hunting me.”

I went and lay on Rigmor’s bed. It smelt of her, and I lay my head on her pillow as unwanted tears freely flowed. Eventually, I fell asleep from exhaustion.

So much for keeping my emotions under control. As useless at that, as I am at keeping Rigmor safe.

Less than two hours after my display of weakness, Sigunn woke me with concern in her voice.

“Dragonborn, Dragonborn, wake up!”

“Yes, Sigunn, what is wrong?”

“Sorella is missing! Angi has gone to look for her. Sorella took one of her bows. We think she might have gone to try and find Rigmor.”

“How did she sneak out?”

“She said she was going to the latrine and never came back. Meeko has also gone to find her.”

“Stay here with Lydia. I will go help Angi.”

“Hurry!”

I rushed out of the tent as Lydia ushered Sigunn into the hut.

I decided to go on foot as I am not a good enough tracker to do it from horseback.

There were too many hoofprints for me to tell which were the most recent. But there was only one set of enormous dog prints. I followed those.

I found Angi standing on a bit of a hill calling Sorella’s name.

She heard me approaching and turned to greet me. I asked her, “Are there caves or ruins nearby Sorella might have entered to look for Rigmor?”

“There are plenty, but we could spend forever searching the wrong ones.”

“Well, Meeko would have followed her scent.”

“I was hoping you would catch up before I followed his footprints. Let’s go!”

Angi leapt onto her horse, and I jogged behind.

We came to an old fort. Meeko had somehow gained entry as his footprints led to its front entrance.

I said to Angi, “Meeko and Sorella must be inside. See the blood on the cairns? That marks this as the home of a vampire clan.”

“The locals call it “The Bloodlet Throne’.”

“Your bow is the best weapon for dealing with vampires. The further away they are, the less damage they can do to you.”

“OK. Let’s find Sorella. I will follow your lead.”

I decided to use Azura’s Bane, as this is just the type of evil that God detests. So does Meridia and that is her only redeeming feature.

We opened the door and entered. A bloodied skull stared at us in greeting.

We were only a few steps in when we heard the high-pitched scream of a child.

“Sorella!” Angi called out then tried to run toward that heart-breaking sound.

I put my arm out to restrain her and said, “Your only hope of survival is to stay with me. We will get to Sorella and slaughter anything that gets in our way. But I don’t want to lose you as well. Rigmor was enough!”

Angi nodded, and we proceeded with caution.

The Vampires would try blood drain spells from a distance. They were not very damaging at the ranges Angi’s bow was deadly. The mortal minions of the vampires attacked with conventional weapons. They were not very skilled

Angi would often hit a vampire several times, yet they still stood. They never lasted more than one hit from Azura’s Bane. The fire Magicka on the sword did as much damage as the blade. Vampires burn like dried tinder.

A statue came alive and attacked me.

“What is that?” yelped Angi.

“A Gargoyle. They are not very tough and rely on surprise to subdue their prey.”

The Gargoyle swung one of it muscled arms that ended in razor-sharp talons. Usually, I would block with my shield. I had to duck and dodge instead.

It swung at me with its other arm. I had to duck that one as well.

I then plunged Azura’s Bane through its middle. I felt no resistance at all as I pushed till the hilt rested on the Gargoyle’s belly.

It dropped dead, and I said to Angi, “See. A big stone milk-drinker!”

“Rigmor said you were weird.”

“I am also the Dragonborn so please, don’t step in front of me. I may want to use my Thu’um, and you could get hurt. So wait till we are engaged in a melee before crossing my line of sight.”

“How could I get hurt?”

“You will see.”

We rounded a corner and surprised several vampires.

They were even more surprised when my Thu’um ended their lives with a single, deafening Shout.

Angi said, “OK. Stay behind the Dragonborn. Got it now.”

We entered a cavern full of vampires who seemed to ignore the Shout I had used seconds before. I encountered the same in the mine and forge. You would think it would be like an alarm that something is not quite right. Oh well, their loss!

Unrelenting Force knocked a lot of them flying, but it was from too far away to kill them outright.

I leapt down and started a sequence of decapitations any headsman would be proud of and laughed. The dragon had come out to play.

A pesky Gargoyle ruined my entertainment, so he got a belly full of Azura’s Bain as punishment.

Angi looked into my eyes and shuddered. I said to her, “Now you have seen the dragon. It is what will rescue Rigmor and slaughter her captors.”

“Then I like the dragon.”

Just then, Meeko came trotting up and sat in front of us.

“Hey, do you know where Sorella is?” I asked him.

“Woof!”

We followed the white fleabag slaughtering thralls and vampires as we went.

We found Sorella locked in a small cavern surrounded by wolves and a couple of vampires. The wolves were protecting her. It seems Kyne was in action once more.

A vampire stood in front of the portcullis and said, “None may enter when the…”

I lopped off his head and pulled the chain.

We entered, and Sorella was standing between two wolves as large as Meeko.

Angi said to Sorella, “Hey, everything is OK. You’re safe now.”

I said to Sorella, “Go with Angi and Meeko. I will take care of the bad guys.”

“You won’t hurt the wolves, will you?”

“No Sorella, they are now your friends, so they are also mine.”

“OK.”

I said to Angi, “Take Sorella home. Meeko will help you guard her. Azura’s Bain and a dragon are going to explain to these bloodsuckers why kidnapping children and feeding them to wolves is a bad idea.”

“OK, but be careful. We need you to get Rigmor back for us.”

“These idiots can’t even control their wolves!”

I watched Angi and Sorella leave the cavern.

Meeko trotted after them. As he passed a wolf, it howled, and Meeko barked in return.

 A voice behind me said, “How far do you think they will get? The Broodmother has chosen the child.”

“The child is protected by Kyne and me, the Dragonborn. She will get very far, and your Broodmother will die if she persists on hunting children.”

“You are weak and alone. Prepare to die, you fool!”

“Is dragon blood tasty? It must be if you are all willing to die for it!”

The vampires were a pushover, but their damn dogs were not. Their bite was as cold as, well Coldharbour, I suppose. The wolves were my allies but were falling at a great rate to the Death Hounds.

I killed Orsimer vampires.

Dark Elf and Argonian vampires.

All vampires and Death Hounds fell quickly to my dragon’s rage.

Kyne showed her presence.

I killed dozens before it was quiet. I jumped into the pit where they had Sorella and found the vampire with the big mouth.

“Who is weak?” I asked as I kicked the corpse in the head.

I searched him and found the following message,

“To the Master of Bloodlet Throne.

Word is a vengeful Redguard has discovered your coven. Be wary of strangers and keep the wolves loose. They will at least warn you of any impending danger. Do not underestimate this woman for she is the mother of the girl that died when she accidentally fell into the pit.

She has on her person a cursed bow and a ring of protection. Do not touch these items! The ring will cause any vampire who wears it to descend into madness. The bow is fused with the bones and ash of our brothers and sisters and to touch it brings death.

I don’t need to impress on you the importance of maintaining absolute secrecy in our activities and remember, I need them alive. Once or two more will suffice.

M.S.”

If the Broodmother chose Sorella, was she supposed to be delivered in small, brown smelly piles of wolf turds? But this ‘M.S’ said she needs one or two alive. Perhaps this ‘Master of Bloodlet Throne’ couldn’t resist some entertainment. Like Aedriath almost beating and whipping to death Rigmor who now seems critical to the New Order.

The problem with evil megalomaniacs is they make the worst babysitters!

After more searching, I found the Redguard mother. I hope she took a few of them with her!

I searched the body and found her vampire-hunting bow, her Ring of Protection and a journal.

The dweomer on the ring was protection against mind attacks. Similar to how I protect myself but useful for those not trained in such things.

The relevant journal entries are,

“The calling invades our children’s dreams. In a stupor of nightmares, they disappear into the night. Hammerfell has cried rivers of tears for the lost. One day you wake up to find they are gone. That is what happened to Xenia.

I have made it my life’s work to search in the hope I might find her, and hunt down the monsters responsible. The Vampires take the little ones into the depths of Hammerfell. I will find them, and I will bring them death.

My bow to burn them and cleanse their evil souls in the hellfire, and my silver arrows to drive into their black hearts. Xenia’s Wrath shall never rest until the very last demon is nought but a pile of ash.

My ring to keep them out of my dreams, and to protect me from their sorcery. Finding Xenia’s necklace will let me know. Until I find it, I cannot rest, and so I continue the hunt.

I have tracked them down to their lair, the Bloodlet Throne. Here is the coven of witch-devils infesting Hammerfell. Here is where they operate at the behest of their masters.

Here is where they will meet their death, and forever burn in the fires of Oblivion.

I have found their place of abomination, their table, and I am close to their resting place, I can feel it in my bones.

Once the job is done, and I have found you, we will be reunited.

Not long now, Xenia, not long now, my love.”

I said over the body, “I will find Xenia’s necklace and bring it to you. It will confirm she was here, but she died accidentally. They did not corrupt her soul.”

I could feel a breeze and followed it to a hidden alcove.

Vampires are stupider than Delphine. A cupboard in a bedroom is expected, but a cupboard in a hidden alcove screams out, “SHHH! I AM HIDING A DOOR! HAHA…NOBODY WILL EVER FIND IT!”

To my utter surprise, the cupboard had a false back!

There was a pit full of dead adults. Cattle to the vampires. Loved ones to those who miss them.

I could hear a whole lot of vampires just ahead. Invisibility was no good as they could detect body heat like my dragon-sight. I crept forward as carefully as I could. A dweomer I put on my boots ensured they never made noise no matter the surface I stepped on.

The vampires were crowded around a table.

I have enough Magicka to cast Fireball after Fireball. After the first, they knew where I was but were too busy screaming in pain to attack.

One vampire thought she would hide from the nasty mortal with the Fireballs. I snuck up on her and slit her throat. A stealth kill with a two-handed sword! My dragon was proud of that one.

I searched the slightly charred vampires. There was nothing of any interest upon them.

To my dragon’s delight, I found another four bloodsuckers who had ignored all the booms and screams and stayed together in a small room.

When they were eliminated, I searched the room and found a necklace on top of a set of drawers.

There was writing in Yokudan script on its back. I had no idea what it said, but it was a good indication that it belonged to Xenia.

I quickly rushed back to the Redguard mother’s body and held out the necklace.

Her ghost arose, and Xenia’s came running to join her.

The pair walked to the exit then turned to face me.

I said, “Goodbye Xenia and Xenia’s mum.”

Xenia waved then they faded into the afterlife.

My dragon went back to sleep. His job was done. We are one, but it is easier for me to regard that part of me that delights in killing as something else. It was a blatant lie that made things easier.

I stared at where Xenia and her mother had stood. That was more confirmation of the power that love has.

It was just before midnight when I made it back to Angi’s.

Sigunn was standing outside the hut.

I asked her, “How is Sorella?”

“Angi is with her. The little girl is terrified, the poor thing. She keeps hearing voices, terrible voices inside her head.”

“Don’t worry Sigunn. I can fix that for her.”

I knelt and thanked Meeko. He just gave me that goofy grin of his.

I entered the hut and approached Sorella.

I said to her, “Hello, the bravest girl that I have ever met!”

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to find Rigmor.”

“I know you did. That is the sort of thing you do for the people you love. And everybody loves Rigmor.”

“I know the Dragonborn does. Lots!”

“And that is why I am going to find Rigmor and bring her back to her friends and family. OK.”

“OK.”

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah, I think so. Will the bad guys come to hurt me?”

“None of the ones that were there will ever hurt anybody ever again.”

“I won’t run away again, I promise.”

“Nobody is mad at you Sorella. We were just worried.”

“I understand. Like I was worried about Rigmor.”

“Exactly. Now we need to talk a little bit about what just happened in that horrible place.”

“HmmHm!”

“Were you surprised when the wolves didn’t hurt you in the pit?”

“I don’t know why, but I just knew they wouldn’t.”

“Have you heard of a god called Kyne, also known as Kynareth?”

“A little bit.”

“Kyne has taught me a lot about being a Dragonborn. She also seems to look after my friends sometimes. I think she blessed you so that wolves are your friend. I also think it helps that you know their body language.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know when Meeko wants to play or is sad or is in a silly mood just by looking at him.”

“Yes, and he knows the same with me!”

“That is body language. No words are needed.”

“That is so cool!”

“What happened when the wolves didn’t attack you?”

“The bad guys got all angry at the wolves, and the wolves got all angry at the bad guys. So, I knew I was safe. Then you and Angi came for me.”

“Did you know Meeko was there as well?

“Yeah, he came up to the bars. Some of the wolves seemed to talk to him with yips and growls.”

“It would have been a lot harder to find you if he hadn’t left his great big pawprints in the snow.”

“Is he just a dog?”

“I don’t know. We have started to call Meeko ‘the dog who isn’t a dog’.”

“They keep talking to me. Asking me to go somewhere far away.”

“That is what those bad guys do. Now you have been near them they will keep trying. They will not come to get you. They wait for children to go to them.”

“I am scared of them, Dragonborn!”

“I am going to give you a very special ring. You are to wear it all the times and never take it off. It will stop those scary voices that are asking you to run away again. Can you promise Angi and me you will never take it off?”

“I promise.”

I gave Sorella the ring and she slipped it on. A smile of relief crossed her face.

Meeko started barking. Then a low growl issued that warned, “Come any closer and I will rip your arms off!”

Angi, Lydia, Meeko and I ran to the front of the camp. In the distance were an Imperial tracker and his hounds.

Angi said, “This is not good!”

“No, they have found us. Meeko, Lydia, go back and guard Sigunn and Sorella. Angi and I will take care of this problem.”

I walked towards the tracker and asked, “Do you know what the Thu’um is?”

“No! But I know what a dead terrorist looks like!”

“Since when is the Dragonborn a terrorist?”

The little idiot looked terrified, but too late. A full Unrelenting Force sent him and his hounds to The Void.

The rest of the New Order troops came running out of cover.

I decapitated another Imperial tracker.

Then I knocked over a group of Altmer troops with Unrelenting Force.

I ran into the middle of them and started counting out loud.

“One headless idiot!”

“Two headless idiots!”

“Three headless idiots!”

“Four headless idiots!”

“Five headless idiots!”

“Two dead dogs and six headless idiots!”

Sethri appeared out of nowhere using relatively weak Destruction Magicka. A Mer of many talents!

He was busy zapping a Justiciar when one of Angi’s arrows pierced her head.

I then stabbed her in the back to make sure she was dead.

Angi walked past Sethri and said, “Look into his eyes. If you see a dragon, don’t bother talking till it goes away.”

I looked over my kills. The dragon was satisfied once more.

I searched the Justiciar’s corpse and recovered an order. I approached Sethri and read it to him,

“Captain, New Order Security Squad.

It has come to my attention that that accursed Rigmor and her Guardian were given haven at some worthless Huntress camp South of Falkreath. Now the Guardian is dead, and Rigmor in captivity, we need to eliminate any loose ends.

Take some trackers and a detachment of my troops and find this camp, and burn it to the ground. Execute anyone you find there. Leave no stone unturned.

General Tilar Aedriath.”

“Well Tendril Sethri, my favourite thief, messenger, disciple and mage, what do you think of this turn of events?”

“In a minute Dragonborn. I have some vital information.”

“If you dare say, ‘All will be revealed’ I will cry!”

“Azura assures me you are nice and sane and not overly violent towards allies. So, I will ignore that look in your eyes, the counting of heads being lopped off and your bad jokes.”

“If Azura has spoken to you, then you must know that rescuing Rigmor is more than a little important to me. In the meantime, if the gods want to distract me with suicidal vampires and New Order patsies, I welcome it wholeheartedly.”

“I have no idea about any vampires, but I get the sentiment.”

“Information please, Sethri!”

“Not all will be revealed, but some.”

“Start with the important information. Do you know where Rigmor is?”

“Not exactly, but I know a man who does.”

“Tell me what you know.”

“She is being kept at the same location as a Portal Gate.”

“They are called Oblivion Gates. Azura has no idea where it is. Don’t tell me there is a powerful force blocking her insight. No seer has seen it, so she has no idea where it is.”

“She can sense Rigmor is safe at the moment.”

“That I can believe. Azura has been meddling in Rigmor’s life so much she is attuned to her soul. Anything else from Lady Azura?”

“She said some of the New Order are searching the massive evacuation site in Markarth.”

“Well, that is a waste of time. The Dwemer artefact market is flooded!”

“My Mistress did not know what they are looking for.”

“Anything else?”

“She did mention about you being dead for three days.”

“Yeah, sorry about the smell. A bit like young Draugr, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“Well, technically, I was alive since my soul did not enter The Void. But close enough to dead as it makes little difference.”

“This mood will go away eventually?”

“Should do. Then I will just be a miserable bastard. What about this man who knows where Rigmor is?”

“Does the name Jonte Malesam ring a bell?”

“Seer and Mage to Tilar Aedriath. Just another New Order member who needs shortening.”

“He got cold feet when The New Order desecrated Azura’s Shrine…filthy dogs! So, he legged it and now is in hiding.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He won’t spill the beans to me. He says he will only speak to you.”

“And how in Oblivion would he know who I am, or was?”

“Are you for real? You’re the talk of every Stormcloak and Empire camp in Skyrim. I wonder why that is?”

“My stunning good looks and extra-large member?”

“Ahh, no. Storm-Blade and Varon were hauled before the High Council of Tamriel for a game of arse-slap because all-night drinking parties were held in yours and Rigmor’s name.”

“That is typical, that is. Us grunts do all the work and do we get a good arse-slap? No. Bloody officers!”

Sethri shook his head then continued, “Everyone assumes you’re dead, including the New Order. But you don’t roll through Diamond Ridge without it getting noticed.”

“Noticed by who Sethri? Very few people knew of the place so who is going to notice? And we did not just roll through. You just said they think I am dead. Being a corpse kind of precludes rolling. Well, voluntary rolling anyway.”

“Well they’re so rattled they even sent people to ‘mop up’ a Huntress and some orphan kids out here in the arse end of the world.”

“That has zero to do with being rattled. Aedriath is simply getting rid of loose ends that may come back to bite him on the bum! I bet this Malesam wants to meet me in some dim, dark cave miles from pesky guards and patrols. Am I right?”

“Well, Malesam knows your alive.”

“Seer was part of his title. I bet he is also a disciple of some Daedric Prince. It is so easy to get promoted when people think you have Foresight.”

“Ahh, so that is why he would know where the Portal Gate, I mean Oblivion Gate is. Find that Dragonborn, and you’ll find Rigmor.”

“You are so much like your Mistress and use a lot of superfluous words to make sentences that sometimes make sense. But I have to dig to get the information amongst the refuse. Please, mark on my map this ‘secret location’ I am to meet Malesam.”

Sethri marked my map then I had a look and laughed, “Boulderfall Cave. It is a dim, dark cave miles from pesky guards and patrols! I must be a seer! How much is the pay?”

“You’ll be needing to convince your newfound family to find greener pastures if I were you.”

“I started thinking about that as soon as this lot appeared. My house in Whiterun would have been ideal, but that city might be under siege for a while if the New Order invades. Any suggestions?”

“As it happens, I got an old place they can stay. It’s a bit derelict, but with a bit of work they could get it in ship-shape in no time.”

“Where is this mansion?”

“Just outside Riften. That kid probably hasn’t even seen a summer, or a proper tree, or a spring flower. Or even another kid. Ever thought about that one?”

“You have a good heart Tendril, and I do appreciate your help. As for Sorella, I think about every child I see. I bet Azura didn’t tell you that I have no memories of being a child. My life started on the seventeenth of last month. Since that day, Rigmor has been the focus of my life twenty fours hours a day, seven days a week. I am now a mess and will be till I get her back. I have to keep killing, and I wouldn’t say I like killing but, as you saw, I am very good at it. I need Rigmor by my side, or that cynical, violent me will be all that remains.”

“Azura mentioned how you and Rigmor feel for each other. She says it is a special bond. It is something she has never seen before, and she is a god! For Rigmor’s sake and your own, just do what is needed to get her back.”

“Here is my map once more. Please mark the location of your farm.”

Sethri did that and handed my map back to me. I looked at it and said, “Well, it is not far from Boulderfall Cave!”

“It should be safe. It is Stormcloak territory, so there are no Thalmor to worry about.”

“There is another group hunting me. They don’t give a stuff about where they are. Suicide squads, you might say. Let us just hope they do not find your farm.”

“They have nothing to do with the New Order?”

“No, they want to kill me because I am the Dragonborn. They even attacked Mara’s Temple in Riften to get to me. Speaking of which, Baa’Ren-Dar will need to know where we are.”

“Leave that old Khajiit up to me.”

“Thank you, Sethri. I will get these people settled on your farm as quick as I can. Then I will meet this  Malesam. He was working with the enemy and he had better have a good excuse!”

“We are all counting on you to get Rigmor out of there alive.”

“The whole world will be counting on me soon. Don’t forget the dragons Sethri. They are a much bigger threat than the New Order, and there is only one person who can stop them.”

“Another thing that Azura mentioned. Farewell Dragonborn, until next time.”

Sethri went running off. I went to tackle Angi. Walking into Oblivion might be a safer task!

I thought I could do with an ally, so I approached Sigunn first.

I told her, “Sigunn, they now know where we are. We have to leave here before they send more. They want to wipe out anybody who might know their plans.”

“I don’t think Angi is going to like this. If she stays, so will Sorella.”

“If I have to tie Angi up and throw her over a horse I will. This place will still be here after we defeat the New Order.”

“Where will we go?”

“There is a farm located near Riften. No Thalmor or New Order troops will dare show their faces in The Rift.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Get everyone together and explain the situation to them. Angi might listen to you and is unlikely to put an arrow in your head.”

Sigunn laughed, then said, “OK! I will try to talk sense into her.”

Sigunn called for everybody to come for a talk and they soon arrived.

• Sigunn: Today, we were attacked and got lucky, but Dragonborn says more will come.
• Angi: Lucky? I hardly got a shot in before the Dragonborn had cut all their heads off!
• Wulf: What if I wasn’t here? There were enough of them to reach this hut, then what?
• Sigunn: The enemy is trying to cover its tracks so we must leave here and move elsewhere.
• Angi: Nah! This is my home now. Let them come. I am staying.
• Sorella: Yeah! If any bad guys come, we will put arrows in their heads.
• Wulf: You would have stood no chance against the numbers they sent today. Next time they will send more. Lydia and Meeko would die protecting you and for what? Stubborn pride!
• Sigunn: There is a farm located in The Rift. We will all be safe there. Angi, you and Sorella are in grave danger here, and they won’t stop until…
• Angi: I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I am staying here, and so is Sorella.
• Wulf: Well, that is too bad because we are moving and you will talk about it! I am not going to allow a child’s life to be endangered because of pure stubbornness and stupidity! This place will still be here after we defeat the New Order. It would not look any better with two gravestones decorating it!
• Angi: Gah!
• Sigunn: Angi, listen to the Dragonborn. It is our only chance, and he has to go and find Rigmor.
• Wulf: As I said Angi, we are moving, and I do not have time to waste arguing over the only choice you have!
• Angi: So where are we supposed to go?
• Wulf: It is a farm in Riften. It will be safe from Thalmor and New order patrols and hunting parties. It is one of the safest places if the New Order invades.
• Angi: Gah! OK, but it is only temporary until all this is over. I’ll gather some things and board the old place up and prepare for the journey.
• Wulf: Wise choice. I would hate to have hogtied you to a horse.
• Sorella: That would be funny!
• Wulf: Until Angi got hold of her bow again!
• Sorella: Yeah, arrow to the head time.
• Angi: I need you to do something for me.
• Wulf: Of course. What do you need me to do?
• Angi: I promised Sorella I would get her a pony. Mathias in Falkreath has one he is trying to find a good home for.
• Wulf: Who is Mathias, and where will I find him?
• Angi: He spends most of his time drinking himself to death in the “Dead Man’s Drink”.
• Wulf: OK, I will see a man about a horse and you lot can pack everything up.
• Angi: I will board this place up, pack up Rigmor’s tent and make sure Sorella is prepared.
• Sorella: Roskr might like it if we add to his burdens.
• Lydia: He must be a Housecarl!

Once Angi made her mind up, she started barking orders like a Sergeant Major.

I climbed aboard Hashire and headed for Falkreath.

I asked Hashire, ‘One neigh for the boring path. Two neighs for a mad dash in the dark down the steep rocky slopes?”

Two neighs it was.

I arrived in Falkreath at about 5:45 AM. I thought I might have to ask around to find Mathias. He would not be drinking this early! Would he?

I hitched Hashire and headed inside Dead Man’s Drink.

The place was crawling with what I assumed were Aedriath’s men and Imperial traitors.

Some obnoxious enlisted men were telling very unfunny bawdy jokes and giving the serving girls a hard time. I felt like punching them to shut them up.

The inn was relatively empty, but I knew a lot of the working people in the city would soon crowd the place as they came in for a hot breakfast. If fighting was to break out, there could be civilian casualties.

I asked one of the serving girls, “Excuse me. I am looking for Mathias?”

“Just behind me. I think his arse is nailed to that stool.”

I sat down and Mathias gave me a wary look.

“Good morning to you, Mathias.”

“Well met traveller, have you come to wet a parched throat?”

“I am here on business. That is why I knew your name. Mine is Wulf by the way.”

“And what can I help you with?”

“I have a small child and am looking to buy a suitable mount.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place. My brother recently brought his young daughter a pony. But before my niece knew about it, she fell gravely ill. She will not be able to ride any horse for quite some time, so my brother has decided to sell it. Any money will help him and his wife, Indara, pay for the medication my niece needs.”

I brought out my gem bag and found a good-sized emerald worth at least 500 septims. Way more than the pony is worth I am sure.

“Will this do. It is worth at least 500 septims if you sell it to one of the Khajiit caravans.”

“There is one that parks just outside the front gates, but that is far more than the pony is worth.”

“I didn’t hear that last part properly. I thought you said, ‘You are robbing us blind only offering 500 septims for that fine mount. But I will take it, you evil bastard!’”

“Yeah, right. That is what I said!”

“It is a deal then. Can you take me to it?”

“Sure, follow me. It is just around the corner at the back of the farm.”

“Wait and finish your mead. Do you mind answering some questions for me in the meantime?”

“Sure. What do you want to know?”

“What is with all the Thalmor and Imperials?”

“The Imperials are a bunch of drunks on leave. They think they are above the law! They’ve been drinking all day, bragging and hassling the womenfolk.”

“I know some excellent people in the Legion. That lot is a disgrace to the uniform!”

“The Thalmor are Special Squad Officers. There should be five of them, but one has gone into the mountains with a detachment of troops to deal with some terrorists.”

“Terrorists? That is amusing.”

“I hope the one who went up the mountains returns soon. Once they leave, Falkreath can get back to normal. It feels kind of edgy with all these soldiers here. Like a tinderbox ready to explode.”

“Ready to lead me to the horse?”

“Sure, follow me.”

The three loud mouth drunks were giving a poor serving girl a hard time as she tried to sweep away some of the mess they had created. Their remarks were crude, unfunny, and if they were not wearing uniforms, the locals would have knocked their lights out.

As Mathias and I walked by them, they started to harass him.

• Drunk 1: Hey! Don’t suppose you know where the mountain girl is that they’re looking for? Me and the boys want to get re-acquainted. Hahaha!
• Drunk 2: Hell yeah! Put up one hell of a fight, lucky for her she got away, hahaha!
• Mathias: I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re on about. Mountain girl?
• Drunk 1: Yeah, you do! The crazy lady, lives in the mountains, harboring those terrorists.
• Drunk 2: Had a bit of fun with her back in Helgen a couple of years ago, didn’t we boys?
• Drunk 1: I’ve still got her necklace as a souvenir.

The first drunk looked at me and asked, “I don’t suppose you know anything about her, friend?