Sundas, 15^th Hearthfire, 4E 201

I woke and expected to see Rigmor in bed. To my surprise, she wasn’t.

I turned, and Sorella’s bed was also vacant.

Unpleasant scenarios came to mind. I had been exhausted, therefore, sleeping so deeply and so long shouldn’t be a cause for concern. But the absence of Rigmor fed a rampant imagination and denied logic.

I quickly left the room.

Baa’Ren was sitting at the dining table.

“Where is Rigmor, Baa’Ren?”

“I have not seen Rigmor, but Sigunn did not seem concerned. She is downstairs if you wish to speak to that one, Dragonborn.”

I hurried downstairs, and Sigunn recognised my worry.

I asked, “Sigunn, do you know where Rigmor is?”

Despite my efforts, some panic remained in my voice.

Sigunn smiled and said, “Relax, Wulf. Rigmor is sitting on the porch with many competent guards nearby. She has calmed down overnight and seems to have regained some memories. I think you should speak to her.”

“Some memories?”

“She knows who Baa’Ren-Dar and I are.”

“But not me?”

“Don’t worry, Wulf. She will remember your love. It will not be diminished.”

“How can you be sure of that?”

“A mother’s intuition.”

I smiled at Sigunn and headed outside.

I stepped out into a hive of activity. Sorella and Angi were tending crops. The Dragonguard were busy making breakfast. Meeko was being his diligent self. The sounds of Warm Sands drifted across the water.

It was an idyllic setting, and I should have revelled in it. But I couldn’t.

My beloved Rigmor was watching the activity too. However, her face showed no emotion. I forced a smile that did not belong on my face.

I asked, “Mind if I join you?”

“Please do.”

Rigmor’s scrutiny was intense as I gingerly lowered myself onto the chair, which didn’t protest too much.

I felt Rigmor’s stare as I concentrated on Tirnileth. She was still healthy, as I knew she would be.

I then turned and stared at her in return. The love for me was in her eyes. I had to be patient and not panic.

Rigmor smiled, and my heart lurched.

“Celestine says I am healthy. Lucky she is a woman with the questions she wanted me to answer!”

“Celestine is one of the best Restoration mages on Nirn. I am not too shabby myself. I am relieved to see you looking much better this morning.”

“I’m sorry about…you know…”

“I understand completely. There is no need to apologise.”

“Mum told me you faced many dangers and came for me. She says that you are my Guardian.”

“I rescued you with the help of some friends, and now you are safe. That is all that matters.”

“Will they come for me again?”

“I have killed many already and will destroy all that try!”

“What did they want with me? Angi said there is a bounty on me?”

“When you get your memories back, we can discuss that. You will probably tire of me saying that, but it is necessary.”

“Guardian, I kept having this dream last night.”

“A recurring dream?”

“Yes! I can hear a little girl crying. She’s all alone in the dark. I can’t see her, so I follow the sound of her sobbing. When I find her, she has her back to me. I approach, and she wants me to hold her hand. I take it, and then she leads me to a battlefield. The sky is black, and rain pours down. It is a terrible storm, but she keeps pulling me forward. I don’t want to follow her. I’m scared and let go of her hand. Then I wake up every time.”

“Do you recognise the girl?”

“No, but I have this feeling she wants to show me something, but I let go every time because I am afraid.”

It was not a night terror or nightmare. I doubt it was a fever dream. I think the Girl God from The Void was trying to guide Rigmor towards essential memories. Rigmor was not ready for such gobbledegook or speculation.

I reassured her, “You have been through a lot. It might make sense as your memories return. It was not a nightmare, Rigmor, so do not be afraid if you have it again.”

“Yes, I am having trouble remembering things. Everything is vague. I can’t remember my past. Before, when I was a little girl? All that is gone.”

“Have you spoken to your mother or Baa’Ren-Dar about this?”

“Yes, but I am finding it hard to connect with them, no matter how much I love them in my heart. I feel something is wrong, and I feel guilty, but I don’t know why. All we have to connect us is…this…uncertainty? Ahh!”

“How do you feel about me?”

“Comfortable…protected…safe, I guess.”

“Then I have done my job as Guardian and will continue to do so.”

“Right now, I think I need that, a Guardian.”

Rigmor’s gaze was intense. I felt like a puzzle she was trying to solve.

“When I woke, you were sitting close to my bed. You were asleep but smiling. Mum said you do that all the time. Not smiling, I mean sitting in a chair close to me while I sleep.”

“My presence helps calm you and keeps your nightmares at bay. That is why I am certain the recurring dream was not a nightmare.”

I did not mention we often share a bed. Not the blankets! Rigmor has perfected a hog-the-blankets technique.

Rigmor continued, “If the little girl is not a nightmare, why am I afraid?”

“I don’t know, Rigmor. As I said, some things will make sense as memories return.”

“It is all a jumbled mess of things I can’t put in order!”

“Do you remember what I told you last night?”

“Just before I stomped my way back to bed?”

“Yes.”

“You told me I should look inside my heart, and I will find you waiting there.”

“Sometimes what the mind forgets, the heart remembers.”

“I…I’m sorry. I guess I am about to rediscover many things, right?”

“Yes, the memories will return gradually and hopefully in an order that makes sense.”

I let uncertainties intrude. Rigmor knows that she loves her mother and Baa’Ren-Dar but not me. Perhaps our love is part of the trauma her mind is shielding her from.

Rigmor could see I was upset, and Tirnileth would confirm it. My façade was slipping.

She asked, “Is there something wrong? Your smile is gone.”

I replied, “It’s okay, Rigmor.”

“If you don’t mind, I will sit by the lake. That might help me clear my mind.”

“That is an excellent idea.”

I watched Rigmor walk to the lake’s edge.

“Woof!”

“Yes, I know you will keep an eye on her.”

“Woof?”

“I do not know if she will remember our love. It is there. I can sense it and see it in her eyes. But she might not want to.”

“Woof!”

“I am not an idiot!”

Meeko sighed, which is his form of dismissal.

I entered the farmhouse.

Baa’Ren and Sigunn were sitting in the far corner.

I managed to put my fake smile back on as I approached them.

• Baa’Ren: Dragonborn, did Rigmor say anything? Is that one’s memory coming back?
• Sigunn: She does know who we are, doesn’t she? She did this morning.
• Wulf: Yes, Sigunn, she still remembers you and Baa’Ren. Rigmor knows you are her mother. She also knows she loves you both dearly. But it is not a matter of no memories and then all memories. We must gently remind her of things and let the memories return that way.
• Sigunn: Everyone is optimistic that it is temporary.
• Wulf: It is temporary, and now we must figure out what will help Rigmor recover her memories. It is not just the trauma. Whatever the concoction she swallowed was, it contributed to her memory loss. I also think there are some memories Rigmor doesn’t want back, and we have to be careful with those. But it is not all or nothing.
• Baa’Ren: Some say that you must sometimes go back to move forward. Sometimes to remember who we are, we need to start from the beginning.
• Wulf: Early memories are important. However, the most uncomplicated memories to recover will be the newest. Rigmor will be sure of those, while older ones might seem vague. She might be unsure how accurate older memories are. We must start with something recent that would be an important and cherished memory. Ultimately, all memories need context to be placed in order. That allows us to understand their significance.
• Baa’Ren: Why don’t you take Rigmor to revisit some of the places you have recently been to?
• Wulf: That is an excellent suggestion. We have visited some of my properties, but they are busy places, and I think quiet is essential now. The hot springs area is too exposed. However, the lookout is an excellent place to start. Depending on how that goes, I might take Rigmor somewhere like Whiterun or The Throat of the World.
• Baa’Ren: Khajiit thinks they are excellent choices!
• Sigunn: What about you, Wulf? Does Rigmor remember who you are?
• Wulf: She knows I am her Guardian because you told her. Apart from that, I am a stranger.
• Sigunn: Oh, I am so sorry!
• Wulf: Rigmor is alive and well. That is the most important thing.
• Sigunn: Is there anywhere else you might take Rigmor?
• Wulf: She liked Legate Casius Varon, so we will probably visit him. The mages want to discuss something with Rigmor. Celestine was going to retrieve some information the Arch-Mage was preparing for me. I want to read that before I take her to The College of Winterhold.
• Sigunn: Do you know why the mages want to speak to Rigmor?
• Wulf: Partly. It concerns why The New Order was so interested in Rigmor. As I said last night, I will not discuss it until Rigmor is ready to understand everything.
• Sigunn: I understand. Wulf, please be careful.
• Wulf: I failed her once. I will never do that again. She will be safe with me, Sigunn.
• Baa’Ren: Khajiit hopes Dragonborn stops thinking he failed Rigmor. This one cannot imagine another surviving two trips to Oblivion to save her.
• Sigunn: Tell Rigmor there is a set of hunting furs she can wear instead of that flimsy dress. It should fit, with all the straps and laces to adjust it. Ask her to come inside, and I will help her put it on.
• Wulf: I don’t think Rigmor should wear a set of furs that Tendril Sethri stole from who knows where! Instead, I will ask the ladies if they know of a suitable riding outfit in our clothes collection. Most of it is brand new, and I am sure there will be something.
• Sigunn: Where did you get all the clothes, Wulf?
• Wulf: Many girls and women live on my estates. They buy outfits with the money I provide. Also, many deceased estates are sold as one lot for convenience. We purchase deceased lots to obtain rare items. We then distribute most items to charitable organisations and keep some new or newish items. As a result, we have quite a collection of apparel and armour for both genders.
• Sigunn: How wealthy are you, Wulf?
• Wulf: Very.
• Baa’Ren: Khajiit doubts there is anybody richer in Skyrim than Wulf.
• Sigunn: You told me you are of noble birth.
• Wulf: I am, but I also gained noble titles in Skyrim.
• Baa’Ren: Dragonborn is Thane of Whiterun. That one could be Thane in all the Holds but has resisted because remaining neutral aids his efforts. Dragonborn is a Lord because he purchased a large castle and is considering turning it into a school and orphanage.
• Wulf: At the moment, knowledge of my noble birth would be a hindrance. The noble titles I have accepted could be useful.
• Sigunn: Was your wealth inherited?
• Wulf: Partially. My task as Champion of The Divines is to aid the mortals of Nirn. Sometimes that is through battle; other times, through charity and education. I have found many valuable items while searching for artefacts. I do not take things from burial tombs, but I have no guilt about taking treasure elsewhere. I live in luxury in an inherited estate, but I have invested most of my wealth in my museum, orphanages, and charitable work. I also pay my friends a generous stipend and staff above-average wages.
• Sigunn: Sorry to be so nosey. It is just that you are not what a wealthy noble is supposed to be.
• Wulf: On the contrary, I am what they are supposed to be, Sigunn. Nobles should be servants of the people, not power-hungry beasts with no compassion. The Empire was built on The Ten Commands of the Nine Divines. I see little evidence that the elite adhere to those principles.
• Baa’Ren: I must leave for Cyrodiil.
• Wulf: Please, if you meet with His Imperial Majesty, ask about restoring the family’s nobility and clearing Ragnar’s name. In some ways, Mede is responsible for what happened by letting The Dominion tell lies and arrest Ragnar. Many are willing to vouch for Ragnar, including Legate Casius Varon.
• Sigunn: Oh, do you think that is possible, Baa’Ren?
• Baa’Ren: Mede already owes Dragonborn an outstanding debt for saving us from Alduin and uncovering The New Order’s plot. If Khajiit plays the guilt game with that one, Mede will restore the family’s nobility and Ragnar’s good name.
• Wulf: His Imperial Majesty owes Rigmor. She helped uncover the New Order’s plot. She fought dragons beside me and saved many lives by doing so. She fought Alduin, including the decisive battle in Sovngarde.
• Sigunn: It is difficult for me to believe my little girl is now a Swordmaiden of renown.
• Wulf: Rigmor Ragnarsdottier will be a name written in the histories, Sigunn. And she will be named as the daughter of another hero, Ragnar Fjonorson.
• Sigunn: That would be a blessing.
• Wulf: Sigunn, Rigmor and I might be away for more than today. I will let Celestine know we are okay.
• Sigunn: Celestine told me you can speak to each other with that glass ball.
• Wulf: Yes, it is an Ayleid invention.
• Baa’Ren: Safe travels, Dragonborn.
• Wulf: Same to you, Emissary.

I exited the farmhouse and made my way to the ladies.

Celestine handed me a book.

• Wulf: Good morning, ladies. I assume this is the information from the Arch-Mage?
• Celestine: Yes, and you must read it!
• Wulf: I will soon, Celestine. However, I must aid Rimor’s memory recovery, and whatever is in that tome can wait.
• Celestine: Understood.
• Wulf: I am taking Rigmor to a lookout we visited in the hope that it will jog some recent memories. I think they need to come before some of the earlier ones.
• Celestine: Rigmor will be surer of later memories, so that is a good plan.
• Nexendia: Did you speak to Lord Talos?
• Wulf: Yes, and for once, it felt like I was speaking to my father, not an unfathomable god.
• Nexendia: Speaking of gods, Silah visited and swapped some gossip.
• Lydia: Our scaly friend said you spoke to another god in The Void.
• Wulf: I am not sure if it was a god. However, I think that entity has visited Rigmor when she sleeps. I think it tries to make Rigmor remember things she is subconsciously repressing.
• Lydia: Such as?
• Wulf: I have an idea, but it is speculation. So, let’s wait and see.
• Celestine: If you think your love is one of the things being suppressed, you are wrong!
• Wulf: As I said, let’s wait and see.
• Lydia: Any plans after the lookout?
• Wulf: Rigmor has repeatedly said she wants to see more of Skyrim. If all goes well at the lookout, I thought I might take her to Whiterun. It is my favourite city, and she liked it during our last brief visit.
• Celestine: Use the CORB to let us know where you are.
• Wulf: I told Sigunn I would let you know.
• Seiko: Are you taking anybody with you?
• Wulf: We will be riding to the lookout from Ivarstead. Therefore, Hashire will be with us. He will give us plenty of warning if danger approaches.
• Celestine: Silah also said you should ask Odahviing if he has considered following as an ally once more. You asked him once, and he has had time to consider your offer.
• Wulf: If he follows to help and not because my Thu’um is stronger, I will gladly accept his aid. So, I will ask him again.
• Seiko: Will dragons continue to behave?
• Wulf: Most will, as they suffered significant losses in the Dragon War and at the hands of the Tsaesci. The war between the Ka’Po’Tun and Tsaesci also cost the lives of many dragons. I will not use them against The New Order or Stormcloaks for those reasons. Minor skirmishes are the greatest danger I will subject them to. In time, they will be respected, not feared.
• Seiko: But you think some will go rogue.
• Wulf: Yes, and that is why I need to build up The Blades, although they will be called Dragonguard from now on. They need to be able to kill rogue dragons without my assistance. That way, the offending dragon is not wiped from existence.
• Lydia: Rigmor is sitting on a bench next to the lake.
• Wulf: She needs some riding clothes. Do you ladies know of something suitable within our collection?
• Seiko: There is a beautiful leather riding outfit that we have all admired.
• Celestine: I know the one, and it comes in several sizes and colours. I will collect a red one from our storage in Aetheron. It will only take me a minute.
• Wulf: Okay, there is no need to summon a substitute for such a short time while I am here.
• Celestine: Vayu says he is acting as an intermediary between you and General Tullius.
• Wulf: I plan to make Dragonguard available as shock troops. We cannot allow any Holds, villages, and towns to fall under New Order control. Using dragons as scouts, we can anticipate beachhead locations and the direction of troop movements. We shall slowly cull their officers and hope momentum carries them into the decisive battle in Skyrim.
• Celestine: The same tactics we used in Akavir will work in Skyrim. If we target their leaders, the rabble will bog down with indecision during a major battle.
• Wulf: There is very little they can do against dragons acting as scouts. Invisible mages who attack and then teleport away will be the death of all New Order commanders. Soon, being promoted to replace leaders we have slain will be feared.
• Lydia: I hope I get to defend Whiterun if that is their target.
• Wulf: I will need people by my side, but Rigmor will need protecting too. I see no need for her to experience the battlefield.
• Lydia: Whatever you decide, Wulf, I will do my best.
• Celestine: I escorted Sigunn, Angi and Sorella to Warm Sands for supplies.
• Wulf: Dozens of Khajiiti would come to our aid if somebody attacked this farm.
• Nexendia: They were impressed when Celestine used magic to bring one of the boats across the water.
• Celestine: More impressed than a Khajiiti fisherman. If my Ta’agra was better, I might have been embarrassed by his tirade.
• Wulf: Did you explain what you were doing, and for whom?
• Celestine: Yes, and he became very apologetic. He removed another boat that wasn’t being used from under cover and said we could use that one.
• Wulf: And what did the trio think of Warm Sands?
• Celestine: I don’t think Angi is used to Khajiiti, but Sigunn and Sorella loved chatting with them. The town looks well established, and several travelling traders stopped and talked with the locals while we were there.
• Lydia: Fishermen have been coming and going. It looks like Warm Sands will become an important trading centre.
• Wulf: That is our hope. Can you fetch the riding uniform while I talk to Rigmor?
• Celestine: Yes, and I will help her into it. The laces are impossible to tighten by yourself.
• Wulf: Lace?
• Celestine: Laces, not lace.
• Wulf: Oh.
• Seiko: I think Wulf is disappointed.

My friends laughed as I headed for Rigmor.

I was deliberately noisy, and Rigmor turned to watch my progress.

When I reached her, she asked, “Hey, Guardian, are you checking up on me already?”

“Yep. I am just making sure you haven’t grown an extra head. Can I sit beside you once more?”

“Only if you promise not to make any more jokes.”

I sat beside Rigmor, and we spent half a minute staring at the lake. It was a pretty spot to have a farm.

I looked at Rigmor, and when she turned her head, I almost gasped at the love I saw.

Rigmor said, “I really like it here by the lake. It fills me with a wonderful sense of freedom. We’ve been here before, haven’t we? Me and you together, I mean?”

“Yes, we talked a little further up. Just outside the southern gate of Riften.”

“I wish I could remember what’s been going on. It’s peculiar, for instance, Angi, Sorella, Celestine and the others. I feel like I have known them all my life, but I don’t recall any of the moments. Like a book with nothing on the pages.”

“You have known me longer than most of them.”

“Oh…I…”

“Sorry, I am unfair. I am letting my mouth get ahead of my better judgment.”

“I don’t know why I said I didn’t know you last night! I look at you, and I am confused. It is not like looking at any of the others. I don’t know. I am not making much sense, am I?”

“Do you feel different when I am close to you?”

“Yes, apart from feeling safer, I am less confused. I guess there is less pressure to think about things, but when I do, they make more sense. I dunno, it is hard to explain.”

“It is hard to explain. Something special between us seems to work, whether you remember it or not. We call it Our Quiet or Tirnileth. It is what helps you sleep well when I am close by.”

“Our Quiet? Does it concern what I will find inside my heart?”

I nodded, then asked Rigmor, “How would you like to visit one of the places we have been that you enjoyed? That might help you remember things.”

“Hey! I would like that. Can we take the horses?”

“Yes, but that dress is not suitable. Celestine is bringing back a leather riding outfit for you.”

“Is she visiting a market?”

“No, she is stopping at one of my estates. We can move around quickly using teleportation.”

“I have no idea what that is.”

“We will teleport to Ivarstead, which may jog your memory. Then we can ride our horses from Ivarstead to a place we visited recently.”

“Can I ask you some things?”

“Yes, of course.”

“I was not shocked at dragons hovering over the farm. I trusted them, and I think I know them. Is that correct?”

“I know Silah visited. She is the only female dragon to visit Nirn for thousands of years.”

“Lydia and the others seemed to talk to her, but not with words? They were silent!”

“Silah and other dragons use telepathy.”

“Tele whatsit?”

“Telepathy, and guess what?”

“I will understand when I remember.”

“Exactly!”

“Your dog is huge!”

“His name is Meeko, and he is not a dog.”

“Ahh, he barks, growls, licks his nether regions, plays fetch with Sorella and slobbers. If he is not a dog, what is he?”

“He has been with me all my life, and I don’t know what he is. All I know is that he is not a dog.”

“Okay…”

“Gobbledegook.”

“Is that word for weird stuff that I must accept and not try to figure out?”

“Yes, and I am surprised you remembered that.”

“If I travel with you, it is an important word.”

“That it is!”

We stood, and I told Rigmor, “Celestine is probably back by now. She will help you with the riding outfit. Apparently it has laces.”

“Is it red?”

“I think so.”

“Cool!”

“Oh, if you’re cold, we could get some furs instead.”

“Not that cool. Yanno, cool.”

“Oh, cool. Gotcha.”

“You know what I mean by cool.”

“Do I?”

“Okay, I shall join the ladies and pretend you are not as weird as you seem to be.”

“ALBATROSS!”

I willed myself into Aethsela and donned my usual armour.

I then returned to the farm and spoke to Hashire.

“We are taking Rigmor to the lookout.”

“DUH! Why do you think I have a saddle?”

“Eavesdropping again?”

“I am a few feet away from chattering females. No eavesdropping needed.”

“You haven’t tried to speak to Rigmor, have you?”

“You forget I am much older and wiser than you. So no, I did not try to talk to Rigmor telepathically while her brain is scrambled.”

Rigmor returned with Celestine, who rejoined the other Dragonguard.

“Nice outfit! Do you like it?”

“Yes, I do! Celestine also got me some nice new undies. The old ones were a bit crusty.”

“Ahh… too much information.”

“I think I enjoy making you uncomfortable.”

“Yes, you do. I have that greatsword I prepared for you. The one you really liked.”

“I remember it. I replaced it with Dad’s sword, which was used to make another sword. As nice as it is, I can’t carry a sword, Guardian. I don’t want to carry a sword.”

“That is okay. You don’t have to carry a weapon. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable or feel pressured.”

“I want to remember. I do…really. So, do what you gotta do, and I’ll follow, okay?”

“We shall be in total darkness and cold for a split second.”

“That sounds really cool!”

“No, Rigmor, I will not fall for the bait.”

I telepathically told Hashire, “I will teleport Rigmor to Ivarstead and then summon you. You will summon Ren.”

“Lucky you told me. Being a dumb unicorn, I could never have figured that out.”

“I do not think you are dumb.”

“You don’t?”

“I know you are dumb.”

“I would bite you, but I am not totally immune to disease.”

We came out of the ether, and Rigmor seemed to have a flood of memories.

She exclaimed, “We have done that a lot, haven’t we?”

“Yes, we have used teleportation to save time and avoid those hunting you.”

“But we are riding somewhere?”

“Yes, you like riding and want to see more of Skyrim.”

“Where are the horses?”

“I will summon Hashire, and he will summon Ren.”

“Oh, is Baa’Ren coming with us?”

“No, Ren is the name of your horse.”

“I named him after Baa’Ren!”

“Yes.”

“How can a horse summon another horse?”

“Hashire is not a horse.”

“Do you own any animals that are what they look like?”

“I don’t own Meeko or Hashire. They are friends.”

“Can we get moving before I am gobbledegooked to death?”

I summoned Hashire, and he summoned Ren.

We mounted up and rode to the lookout.

As we rode, Rigmor was silent. Hashire, on the other hand, had plenty to say via telepathy.

He stated, “Rigmor was almost fully recovered from her two falls. But the concoction seems to have made her wearier.”

“Yes, but I am amazed how quickly Rigmor recovered once I laid her on a bed and Sigunn attended her.”

“She is confused. Her memories are incomplete and fragmented.”

“Rigmor remembers she loves Sigunn and others but not me, Hashire.”

“And you have made up terrible scenarios in that empty head.”

“Rigmor said she is not ready to use a sword. If she rejects that part of her past, am I also rejected? Is Rigmor taking this chance to discard aspects of her life with which she wasn’t happy?”

“Why would she be unhappy with you?”

“What happens when she remembers I failed as her guardian? What happens when she remembers I am the son of gods and have all these weird abilities?”

“If I were a brain trying to repair itself, I would leave the most life-changing revelations to last. That way, they can be placed in context with the other memories. Logically, Rigmor might accept that she once loved you, but it would seem hollow and abstract without other memories leading up to that love blossoming.”

“That is very observant of you.”

“Not really. Ears that rotate like mine have an advantage, and I have been listening. Rigmor said, ‘Like a book with nothing on the pages.’”

“Has anybody ever told you it is rude to listen to private conversations?”

“I did it to help you, so forgive my rudeness!”

“I am not mad at you, Hashire. And that did help, so thank you. I hope Rigmor can cope with emotions that might accompany a rush of memories. It might be like standing before an avalanche.”

“Memories must have context. It is smart starting with later ones, but Rigmor will also have to sort through earlier ones. Otherwise, she would have no idea why some memories matter or why she acted a certain way in them. I am sure others have told you that.”

“Yes, I must be patient and not think the worst.”

“Isn’t that something your parents and friends have tried to teach you forever?”

“No, only for twenty-two years.”

“Add your decades in Aethsela.”

“Okay, for a long time.”

I stopped at a waterfall, and Rigmor asked, “You like waterfalls and rivers, don’t you, Guardian? Something to do with your childhood.”

“Yes, Rigmor. I grew up near rivers and waterfalls. They remind me of my childhood and appeal to me as an adult.”

When the lookout’s camp came into sight, Rigmor leapt off Ren and ran laughing to its centre.

Rigmor stopped, looked around, and then exclaimed, “I remember this place. Oh, my, it is all still here!”

Rigmor sprinted to the edge of the lookout. I followed at a more sedate pace.

We enjoyed the view for a minute.

Then I stared at Rigmor for a second before she turned and caught me.

I said, “That is quite a view.”

“Me or the scenery?”

“Oh…umm…”

“This is the last place we came before it went wrong.”

“It is the last place before our actions were driven by chaos and not by choice.”

“You gave me a dress to wear. It was red, and you watched me pick flowers. I kept them, and…and when you got hurt, I left you a trail in case you came for me.”

“You did?”

“Yes, didn’t you see them?”

“No, Rigmor. I was anxious to start searching for you, so I teleported to Angi’s camp. You didn’t lose hope, despite seeing what they did to me.”

“I knew you would find me. Why is that?”

“Let’s not force the memories, okay.”

“He tricked us, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did. I failed to protect you.”

“No, don’t think that. I can’t remember the details, but I know Aedriath tricked us. Is he still alive?”

“For now.”

“We saved Sorella from a dark place, didn’t we?”

“Yes, we did.”

“Wait…there’s something else….”

Rigmor stared at me as if scanning my soul. In a way, she was.

After a few seconds, she asked, “Were we…yanno?”

Tears came unbidden.

Rigmor whispered, “Oh, I’m sorry, Wulf.”

“That is the first time you have used my name. I think I will sit by the tent. You can look at the scenery for a bit longer if you want.”

I needed time to compose myself, and Rigmor needed time to process returned memories. I walked dejectedly to the seat near the tent and sat.

As I watched Rigmor, melancholy threatened to pull me into horrific scenarios.

After fifteen minutes, Rigmor approached, humming a tune I did not recognise.

She sat on a stump, and there was an awkward silence for several seconds.

Then Rigmor said, “Look at me, Wulf.”

I did as Rigmor asked and fought my traitorous emotions once more as love washed over me.

She said, “I found it hard to sort out all I remembered when you walked away. Now I am sitting near you, and it is starting to come together. Is it Our Quiet that is helping me?”

“Yes, Rigmor. It helps us think more clearly.”

Rigmor turned her head. It is a habit she has when deep in discussion.

She whispered, “We were about to enter the fort after rescuing Mum and ended up laughing about something silly. We often laugh about silly things, don’t we?”

“Some people who see us in fits of giggles or laughter think we are slightly insane.”

“I said, ‘Let’s go kick the arsehole in the arsehole!’”

“And I replied, ‘Yes, I can see all that proper noble lady training has been worth it.’”

I was rewarded with a laugh, as I was at the time.

Rigmor’s face would change, and she would whisper as she sorted through the memories.

“Later on, I was scared and upset, and I asked you to promise you would never let me go.”

“Yes, you did. I replied, ‘I can’t promise, but I will try. I will not stop out of choice. I hope that is good enough.’”

“That wasn’t the first time you said those words to me, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t.”

Rigmor continued, “I was laughing at something again. Then I told you, ‘My dear, Wulf. I love you and will always love you.’”

“Seconds later, they were dragging you away from me. I could not stop them and heard you cry for mercy. Rigmor, it was the worst moment of my life!”

“I am sorry I have been calling you Guardian, not Wulf.”

“That is not your fault.”

“But you are not a Guardian. You are my Guardian! You are also my Dragonborn, Dragonbum and weirdo.”

Rigmor looked at me again, all uncertainty gone.

My beloved continued, “I remember the love in your eyes, Wulf. Then the bolt struck, and I watched you die. I could have killed them all easily. Instead, I dropped my sword and watched as they stabbed you. But you didn’t die. I could still sense you somehow. And even though I was terrified, I knew you would come and get me, and they would pay for what they were doing. Therefore, I dropped the flowers. But you didn’t need them to find your way out. And you found me!”

“Lady Azura held a part of my Lifeforce within my body, but my Consciousness floated in The Void. I used our love to strengthen my will and find my way back from The Void and into my body. That took more than three days.”

 “I remember much of our time together, but not all of it.”

“You wrote me a song. When we were last here, you sang it to me.”

“Yeah, right! In your dreams.”

I sang,

• There is a small child lost in the dark. In my dreams, she’s still there.
• She has fallen, and she waits. Will someone come? Might someone care?
• Her heart, she’ll give you; her love be true. Where’s her Dragonborn, to save her, to never let her go?

Rigmor smiled and said, “You told me how much you liked it. Earlier, when I tried on the red dress, you kissed me, and… grabbed my arse!”

“I was checking for saddle sores.”

“Yeah, right, pffft!”

“Anyway, you kissed me just as passionately.”

“I think we were tempted to make love there and then but didn’t. Have we ever…umm…you know?”

“No, Rigmor, we have never ‘you knowed.’”

“But we sleep next to each other.”

“Yes.”

“Weird!”

“Neither of us was ready for that, Rigmor.”

Rigmor’s mood darkened as she recalled, “We talked about my mum and how she was a schoolteacher and how everything changed…”

“I am pleased that this place has triggered many memories.”

“They killed my dad, Wulf! I don’t know if I want to remember.”

“All memories, good or bad, make you who you are. You have many people who love you and will help you face them, but in your own time.”

“They make me who I am? How much about me do you know?”

“Tell me when I have bored you enough with my extensive Rigmor knowledge.”

“If I yawn, take that as a hint. If I hit you, you didn’t take the hint.”

“Okay, let me think…

• You breathe fourteen times per minute, like clockwork, when asleep.
• Your heart beats between sixty-five and seventy times per minute when asleep.
• You love red mountain flowers and red dresses.
• You named your horse after Baa’Ren-Dar.
• You had a best friend you met when she stole Jenny, a doll your father made you.
• That best friend’s name is LoonaShadow. Loona for short.
• You threw snowballs at the Bruma Guards and played rough and tumble with the boys.
• You loved going to the relatively warm Imperial City, taking off your coat, and enjoying the sun on your face.
• Your mum taught you how to read and write.
• You loved to read for hours and were mute for months until you discovered Baa’Ren-Dar’s library one day.
• You studied fine art, poetry, and song.
• You have to sleep on your side because of the pain from your scars.”

I stopped even though I could have gone on for ages. Rigmor had to face her demons, and I knew which memories contained them.

Rigmor said, “Keep going. I am not bored yet.”

I told her, “Ragnar taught you how to use a greatsword and made you use a bigger and heavier one each time you got used to the one you had. Swordmasters taught you more skills because Baa’Ren-Dar hired them at your request. You believe you should be like a son because your father said you had to be. I know Ragnar would be proud of the warrior you have become.”

“I don’t know about that, Wulf. I know there’s a part of me that fits the term warrior. But it seems so long ago I was ever that. I can’t envisage it right now. I don’t even want to.”

“You need to remember what you have done, but that does not mean you have to be what you were. I see no need for you to take up arms right now. Others may expect that of Rigmor, daughter of the ‘Beast of Hammerfell.’ You can tell them to shove that notion up their backsides. Being good with a sword is one tiny part of Rigmor Ragnarsdottier. It does not define who you are!”

“Can we change the subject? What else do you know of me?”

“You know how to wriggle your hips and posterior to maximum effect.”

“The hot springs! You pervert!”

“See, you are doing well, although I question which of us was the pervert.”

“Ahh…Mum and Dad…Cyrodiil. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to go home?”

“I told you I would take you wherever you decide is home. That is, if you decided to leave me and…”

“Shush! I love you, and we have discussed this several times. I will always be there for you. I want us to experience life together, no matter the dangers or difficulties.”

“Yes, but you don’t remember all my secrets.”

“I knew them when I made that commitment. So the secrets I have forgotten are irrelevant. I want us to experience life together. I love you! How many times do I have to repeat those three words?”

“I have been so scared, Rigmor.”

“I know, my weird but beautiful Dragonborn. But there is no need to be scared any more. You are stuck with me, so get used to it!”

I smiled at Rigmor, but it was false, and Tirnileth would tell her that.

Rigmor decided it was no use trying to convince me, so continued, “My memories are coming together, for good or bad. I guess I’ll have to face truths as they present themselves.”

“There are many who love you and can help.”

“I know some things I would rather not remember and some things about me I would rather forget for which I carry the scars.”

“You are doing so well! Woe to anybody who drags you back into the darkness from which you have emerged!”

“You can be frightening, Wulf. And I know I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, but at least I don’t feel angry anymore. But I am exhausted.”

“Why don’t you rest in the tent? I’ll watch over you.”

“Maybe soon.”

“You were humming a song as you walked towards me. I don’t think I know that one.”

“Oh, it is just something I picked up some time ago.”

“Please, would you sing it? For me?”

“Sing it? No…I don’t know…”

“There is nothing wrong with your voice. Please, it may help loosen some more memories.”

“Do you mean it about my voice?”

“I don’t do false flattery. I don’t lie. You have a fine voice.”

“Okay.”

Rigmor sang, and her voice was as beautiful as her soul.

• Come sail away with me, out of the darkness and into the light.
• Come sail away with me on a river of tears I’ve cried.
• Into the promised land, we can begin again.
• Lift up our hearts, and build a new society.
• Come sail away with me, out of the darkness and into the light.
• Come sail away with me on a river of tears I’ve cried.
• And we’ll have no fear of their swords and spears.
• Together, we’ll stand proud and tall, or together we will die and fall.
• The true price of freedom.

I waited for a few seconds, then said, “Like the last time you sang for me, that was truly amazing. Did you write that one as well?”

“No, it was a song I learned in Valenwood from an old Redguard. He’d been there since, I dunno, like forever.”

“Can you remember his name?”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t worry. His name might pop into your head when you don’t think about it.”

“I suppose I will have to get used to that!”

“As I said, you don’t have to face this alone.”

“Thank you, Wulf.”

“Why don’t you have that rest now? A few hours of sleep will help.”

“Will you sit close while I sleep in the tent?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Okay, I will. Just for a little while.”

“When you wake, we shall visit Whiterun and eat at my favourite inn. You liked that city, but we did not have much of a chance to look around.”

“I have said I wanted to see more of Skyrim.”

“Yes, you have, but riding the long roads has been too dangerous for us. But I think Whiterun would be a safe place to visit.”

“I am very hot, Wulf.”

“The concoction they gave you is still in your system.”

“Celestine said I have to purge it. I am not sure what that means.”

“Sweating, peeing, and pooping will remove the toxins.”

“Charming. Perhaps I should sleep in my undies. I don’t want to get my new outfit stinky with sweat.”

“That is not a good idea. Your body thinks it is too warm, when the opposite is true. Keep the outfit on. You will not ruin it.”

“Yeah, if I stripped to my undies, I might be tempted to wriggle my hips.”

“That would be terrible!”

Rigmor laughed and crawled into the tent.

It wasn’t long before her breathing followed the familiar rhythm that often accompanied me into sleep.

I retrieved the book Savos had prepared for me from my Journal Case. Then I read it.

The first part was Rigmor’s ancestral tree.

Emperor Titus Mede the First and a commoner called Rigmor of Cyrodiil had an illegitimate daughter, Morganna, in 4E 48. Rigmor of Cyrodiil died during the birth.

Morganna had only one daughter, Ysolda, born in 4E 80. She was known as Ysolda the Witch or just The Witch.

Ysolda had a daughter, Fjona, born in 4E 115. Ysolda died in 4E 115. The records are unclear whether she died birthing Fjona.

Fjona was an imposing, red-haired mercenary warrior over six feet tall with long, curly red hair. Hence, she was known as Fjona the Red.

Fjona died while giving birth to Ragnar Fjonasson in 4E 145. It seems that dying in childbirth was an unwanted trait of the lineage.

Rigmor was born in 4E 182 to Ragnar and Sigunn.

Rigmor is a three-times-great-granddaughter of Emperor Titus Mede I.

Rigmor is a First Cousin of Emperor Titus Mede II, five times removed.

So, the sequence is:

• 4E 48: Morganna is born.
• 4E 80: Ysolda born; Morganna is 32.
• 4E 115: Fjona born; Ysolda is 35.
• 4E 145: Ragnar born; Fjona is 30.
• 4E 182: Rigmor born; Ragnar is 37.
• 4E 201: Rigmor is 18.

Rigmor of Cyrodiil was a mercenary who became a hero during the Oblivion Crisis. She aided The Hero of Kvatch in closing an Oblivion Gate. She exited back to Mundus just before the Sigil Stone was struck. She also helped defend Bruma against waves of Daedra that emerged from three lesser Oblivion Gates. The strong defence of Bruma forced Mehrunes Dagon to open a Great Oblivion Gate that Martin Septim and The Hero of Kvatch then entered to retrieve, not destroy, a Sigil Stone.

Arch-Mage Savos Aren said more information would be forthcoming when I met with Jonte Malesam.

I was left with a mystery.

Rigmor is a distant relation to two Emperors of the Mede Dynasty. That does not make her unique enough for the gods to take notice. Others I know have closer blood ties to both emperors. For instance, Jarl Elisif is Emperor Titus Mede II’s niece via an illegitimate half-sister. Vittoria Vici is a well-known Solitude noble. She is a great-times-three granddaughter of Emperor Titus Mede I and a First Cousin, one place removed from Emperor Titus Mede II.

Mede blood carries no blessings, unlike my Septim blood, which is that of Saint Alessia. That is not what makes Rigmor of interest to some Daedric Princes.

Rigmor’s Mede bloodline was interesting. However, what came next was a shock!

The College of Winterhold accepted a Royal Writ from Emperor Titus Mede I. They are to protect his and Rigmor of Cyrodiil’s descendants. They must maintain records of the bloodline and store important family heirlooms.

According to the Royal Writ, representatives of The College of Winterhold are to be made available to descendants of Morganna as protectors and advisors. Jonte Malesam and Cerys have been allocated those positions whether Rigmor accepts the post of Countess or not.

The College has done as poorly as Azura in protecting Rigmor.

The offer of the Countess position was the biggest shock. No wonder Celestine insisted I read the tome.

His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Titus Mede II, wants to offer Rigmor the title of Countess of Bruma as compensation for the Thalmor prosecution of her family that he allowed. Ragnar’s titles are to be reinstated and entered into the Book of Lists even if Rigmor refuses the title of Countess. Ragnar will not be pardoned because the accusations of The Dominion will be recorded as false and without merit. The edited histories will be corrected, and The Sons of Talos will be recognised as the heroes they are.

I looked over at my sleeping beloved and wondered what she would decide. Would it mean our farm is closer to, or further from, being a reality? I will tell her as soon as she is well enough to handle this new twist in our story.

I will urge His Imperial Majesty to award Rigmor the Countess position on merit. She has earned the title through duty. She helped my efforts against Alduin, including fighting beside me against The World Eater. She helped defend Solitude and other places against massed dragon attacks. She unearthed the New Order’s plot by my side. If any other Count or Countess argues, he can tell them they owe their freedom to the efforts of Countess Rigmor Ragnarsdottier!

While Rigmor slept, I wrote journal entries covering the last week.

About four hours after falling asleep, Rigmor awoke.

I offered my hand and helped her out of the tent.

She rushed off into the bushes, saying, “Time to purge!”

I replied, “Remember, when knights were bold…”

“Only peeing!”

“I will be with Hashire. I need to explain to him what we are doing.”

Hashire thought it would be amusing to change into his natural form.

Rigmor approached and stared at him.

• Rigmor: Hashire is a unicorn!
• Wulf: Does that bring back memories?
• Rigmor: Yes, I have seen him somewhere beautiful with another unicorn.
• Wulf: That is his mate, Surilana. The beautiful place is my palace and town called Aetheron.
• Hashire: Can you hear me, Rigmor?
• Rigmor: Oh, is this that telepathetic stuff! Yes, I can hear you, Hashire.
• Hashire: I am delighted to see you making progress. However, I am concerned that you still love Wulf. Perhaps that stuff they gave you has scrambled your brains more than we thought?
• Rigmor: I remember that Wulf has a poor sense of humour. It seems you have caught his bad joke disease.
• Wulf: Ha, Lunch, take that!
• Hashire: Rigmor insulted you at the same time.
• Wulf: Yes, but I don’t have an easily bruised ego.
• Hashire: Bastard!
• Wulf: Nag!
• Rigmor: Children!
• Wulf: You should know the place well enough, so teleport to the farm and summon Ren.
• Hashire: I will, and Silah will be delighted with the gossip.
• Rigmor: Wulf, will a unicorn blab to a female dragon about us?
• Wulf: Yes. It will soon be all over Aetherius.
• Hashire: It is more than gossip!
• Wulf: You are correct, Hashire. They have seen how sad and uncertain I have been. All my friends will be relieved, so it is more like important news than gossip.
• Rigmor: I am famished, so let’s go!
• Hashire: Aren’t you going to tell me where you are going?
• Wulf: Undoubtedly your big swivelling ears heard every word I said to Rigmor.
• Rigmor: Do you eavesdrop, Hashire?
• Hashire: Well, um, sometimes.
• Wulf: Turn into something normal before you head for the farm. You never know when a Hircine devotee might see you.
• Hashire: Have fun in Whiterun, Rigmor. It is Wulf’s favourite city.

We teleported into Breezehome.

I said to Rigmor, “I will vanish for a few seconds. I want to change into my Imperial General armour.”

“You were wearing that this morning. After Celestine helped me change, you were wearing that black and red armour.”

“I changed for several reasons. First, you would be familiar with this armour. Therefore, wearing it may help jog some memories.”

“That makes sense.”

“Secondly, there is supposed to be a ceasefire in the civil war. However, if we encountered some Stormcloaks, they might decide an Imperial General is fair game.”

“That also makes sense.”

“And I want the citizens of Whiterun to know their Thane, the Dragonborn, supports The Empire, not Ulfric Stormcloak.”

“So now you want to change again, but won’t that take at least half an hour?”

“Not in Aethsela, my room in Aetherius.”

“You are the son of gods!”

“Yes.”

“I can’t recall which gods. But I know you are mortal.”

“As proven when I was shot in the neck, poisoned and stabbed.”

“And you can make time work differently in Aethsela.”

“Yes. So, it might take me thirty minutes to change, but only a few seconds here.”

“Gobbledegook!”

“Yep.”

“Okay.”

I willed myself into Aethsela, changed into my Imperial General armour and willed myself back.

Rigmor exclaimed, “It is important I remember these things about you!”

“They will come, Rigmor. Do not try and force them.”

“Can you show me a bit of Whiterun before we go to the inn?”

“Yes, of course. Let’s go.”

When we exited Breezehome, Rigmor looked around and remarked, “This city is pretty.”

“Yes, it is beautiful, but I sense fear. The civil war weighs heavily on the people here, who are probably aware of The New Order as well. Usually, many children are playing in the streets, and some of the vendors’ stores are not being manned.”

“Whiterun has often been besieged, hasn’t it?”

“Yes, to conquer Skyrim, Whiterun needs to be taken as a priority. There have been some sizeable battles during the civil war. However, everybody knows that a siege of Whiterun would begin Ulfric’s final push for victory. Similarly, we think The New Order will also target Whiterun early in its campaign.”

Further along, Rigmor asked, “Is that the inn at the end of the street?”

“It is one of the inns of Whiterun. Another is closer to Breezehome, and another is near the stables. I frequent them all, but I prefer that one. It is called The Bannered Mare.”

“Come on then. Stop lollygagging! Show me Whiterun.”

A Redguard mercenary, an Altmer Whiterun Guard, and a Khajiiti walked past.

I said to Rigmor, “The total lack of racial discrimination is one thing that makes Whiterun my favourite.”

An Argonian recognised me.

“Greetings, Lord Welkynd.”

“Good afternoon, Jeelius. I have heard about your visits to Tundra Homestead.”

“The ladies on your wonderful estate find my colours irresistible.”

“As long as you do not get anybody jealous, I don’t care. That place is one of harmony. Understand?”

“Yes, Lord Welkynd. I share myself equally amongst the beauty, and if there is an argument, well, I can handle two at a time.”

“It is a wonder you have the strength to be a mercenary.”

“Alas, I will be away for at least two weeks. Will they survive without me?”

“I am sure they will manage.”

Rigmor did not say a word about Jeelius. I think she was shocked that Argonians also like knocking boots.

We stopped and listened to Heimskr, who said, “Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars!”

Rigmor said, “That doesn’t sound right.”

“It isn’t correct. Heimskr is a liar and blasphemer and supports the Stormcloaks.”

We stood at the bottom of Jorrvaskr’s steps.

Rigmor asked, “Is that where The Companions live?”

“Yes, it is called Jorrvaskr. I dislike The Companions for several reasons.”

“They like Ysgramor and think there is glory in combat. Those things annoy you.”

“You are remembering bits of who I am.”

“Yeah, I will figure you out.”

“Some of The Companions are werewolves, but that is not a reason for my dislike.”

“It is not what they are, but their actions that count.”

“Wow, memory overload!”

“It’s a bit like that.”

“Whiterun’s streets being this quiet is disturbing. Let’s get that drink and meal.”

“Okay.”

As we approached The Bannered Mare, we came across a confrontation between Fralia Gray-Mane and two senior members of the Battle-Born clan.

• Olfrid: Foolish old woman! You know nothing! Nothing of our struggles, our suffering!
• Fralia: Nothing? And what of my son, hmm? What of Thorald? Is he nothing? So don’t talk to me about suffering!
• Idolaf: Your son chose his side, and he chose poorly. And now he’s gone. Such is the way of war. The sooner you accept his loss, the better.
• Fralia: I will never accept his death! My son still lives. I feel it in my heart. So, tell me, Battle-Borns, where is he? Where are you holding my Thorald?
• Olfrid: Do you believe this old hag, Idolaf?
• Idolaf: Holding him? Why, we’ve got him in father’s cellar. Idolaf is our prisoner.
• Olfrid: Face it, old cow! Your stupid son is dead! He died a Stormcloak traitor. And you…you best keep your mouth shut before you suffer the same.
• Idolaf: Come on, father. There’s nothing more to be said here.

As the two Battle-Born started to walk away, I intervened.

• Wulf: Idolaf Battle-Born, wait while I speak to Fralia. Olfrid, go home before I decide to lock you up!
• Olfrid: And who do you think you are, issuing orders like that!
• Wulf: You know who I am, Olfrid. As a Thane of Whiterun, I can have you enjoying our jail’s hospitality for threatening the life of Fralia Grey-Mane. As for Lieutenant Idolaf, he will obey General Wulf Welkynd or be court-martialed. 
• Idolaf: You had better do as Thane Welkynd asks, Father.
• Olfrid: What’s Skyrim coming to when an Empire General sides with the mother of a traitor?
• Wulf: What is Skyrim coming to when a worried mother is mocked by two idiots who think they are patriots?
• Olfrid: How dare you!
• Wulf: People are watching, so decide quickly, Olfrid Battle-Born. Do you want to shut your mouth and go home or be dragged kicking and screaming to Whiterun’s jail by me?

Olfrid stormed off, muttering that he would complain to Jarl Balgruuf, who would put me in my place. I know what Balgruuf’s reaction would be, and Olfrid would think I was being kind compared to his Jarl.

A visibly upset Fralia was sweeping behind her jewellery store. Or more like pretending she was belting the Battle-Borns to death with her broom.

• Rigmor: Fralia, those two are assclowns!
• Wulf: Please excuse Lady Rigmor Ragnarsdottier, Fralia. She doesn’t like assclowns.
• Fralia: I don’t know what an assclown is, Lady Ragnarsdottier, but it sounds suitable.
• Wulf: I will find out what has happened to Idolaf.
• Fralia: I know my son is alive, Thane Welkynd!
• Wulf: I won’t dismiss a mother’s intuition, Fralia. But dead or alive, your family deserves to know the truth.
• Rigmor: When Wulf says he is going to do something, it gets done.
• Fralia: Your name is Rigmor?
• Rigmor: Yes.
• Fralia: The Rigmor who fought beside Thane Welkynd against dragons, including Alduin?
• Rigmor: I… ah…
• Wulf: Yes, Rigmor helped me defeat the dragon threatening Whiterun and those that attacked Solitude and other places. She was by my side when we battled Alduin.
• Fralia: We all owe you a great debt, Lady Ragnarsdottier.
• Rigmor: Oh!
• Wulf: Excuse me while I talk to Idolaf. And Lady Ragnarsdottier, you are not to intervene.
• Rigmor: Okay.

I approached Idolaf, who said, “Damn those Gray-Manes to Oblivion. If they want to back the Stormcloaks, they’ll get what’s coming to them!”

“Did I give you permission to speak, soldier? Stand to attention and salute. Do not drop your hand or move that mouth until given permission!”

Idolaf did as ordered.

“Do you know if Idolaf is alive? Speak!”

“Between the two of us, his family is better off thinking he’s dead. Thorald and I have a history, all right? We used to be friends. So, I looked into it when he disappeared. I found out The Thalmor have him. And they don’t let anyone go. So, I’ve kept my mouth shut. As I said, his family is better off believing he’s gone, because he’s never coming back.”

“Was he arrested for being a Talos worshipper?”

“Yes. Last I heard, Thalmor carted Thorald off to Northwatch Keep. Have you heard of it? If you go in there, you don’t come out. Ever!”

“Do you know Avulstein?”

“Avulstein Gray-Mane and I were best friends as children. If I see that traitor again, I’ll throw him in jail myself!”

“Have you ever asked yourself why childhood friends ended up on opposite sides of a civil war?”

“No. I cannot understand why somebody would back a kingslayer and endanger The Empire.”

“Ulfric supporters are as sure of their righteous cause as you are, Lieutenant. But they have believed lies that I will reveal to all. Then people like Avulstein and Thorald will have a choice. Continue to fight for a false cause, or come home and return to the lives they abandoned. What is a Legionnaire expected to do when Ulfric is defeated?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you to continue persecuting those who supported Ulfric, or welcome them back as citizens of The Empire?”

“I do not recall The Empire seeking revenge on defeated enemies.”

“The Empire, and His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Titus Mede II, are guided by The Ten Commands of the Nine Divines. What I just witnessed doesn’t align with them. You could have told Fralia you didn’t know where Thorald was and left it at that. A lie is better than belittling a concerned mother due to some ancient animosity between families.”

“But she was accusing us!”

“Did your smug attitude and lack of respect earn Fralia’s suspicion and accusation?”

“Yes, General. We could have shown some compassion.”

“Would you dare have spoken to Thorald’s father the same way?”

“Eorlund would have ripped my head off!”

“So, you and your father’s animosity was directed against an elderly woman, but would not be directed against an equally old, but formidable, man. That is cowardice, Lieutenant!”

“I… ah… yes, General. It is.”

“Ulfric will be defeated, but not before I destroy his lies and reputation. Anybody who fights for him after I reveal the truth will have earned condemnation and death. However, mothers like Fralia would still deserve nothing but compassion and understanding. You are dismissed.”

Fralia had closed her store and gone home.

Rigmor was busy watching the comings and goings of Whiterun and didn’t notice me summon Vayu.

He asked, “How is she?”

“Rigmor’s memories are returning at a rapid pace. I hope she can place them in order.”

“Do you need me to do something?”

“A citizen of Whiterun, Thorald Gray-Mane, has been arrested by The Thalmor for being a Talos worshipper. They’re holding him in Northwatch Keep. I want General Tullius to arrange his release.”

“On what grounds?”

“He is a Stormcloak. We think he has vital information that can aid us and want him handed over for interrogation.”

“You would not hand somebody over to Imperial torturers.”

“No. That is the story Tullius gives The Thalmor. I want Thorald released. His family is one of the most influential in Whiterun. At this stage of the civil war, and considering the current truce, this action could be of political benefit.”

“But that is not why you want him released.”

“Let Thorald choose his future. Talos worshippers are not treated well, and Stormcloak or not, he does not deserve their form of punishment. If Tullius balks at letting him go free, place him in prison till the war is over.”

“Thorald would be a fool if The Empire has him released, but he fights for Ulfric.”

“Correct, but let him have that choice. Those who abandon Ulfric before his defeat will integrate back into a united Skyrim better than released prisoners.”

“They will be looked upon with more tolerance.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, I will see what I can do. It shouldn’t be too hard. You have made an impression on Tullius.”

“I respect the General for what he has achieved in the past. You should ask him about New Orsinium.”

“Legate Rikke would follow you into Oblivion.”

“Well, let’s hope that is never needed.”

“Rigmor looks healthy, Wulf.”

“She will be okay.”

Vayu vanished, and Rigmor was still enamored by watching Whiterun’s people. She was startled when I said, “Come on, before the inn gets too crowded.”

We entered The Bannered Mare, and Rigmor quickly claimed a table. The inn wasn’t as crowded as usual, but an empty table was a miracle!

I scanned the room. Nobody looked like bounty hunters, and most of them were familiar faces.

I relaxed and turned to Rigmor.

She said, “It is nice and warm in here.”

“Do you want me to get you some food? A drink?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“You look worried.”

“I still feel a little confused, but I think all the anger has gone now.”

“You only demonstrated your anger once, which is surprising considering how strange it must have been for you.”

“I was angry underneath, but I knew everybody was trying to help me and didn’t deserve another tantrum.”

“Have you remembered more since your sleep?”

“Yes, a lot more.”

“How about I throw a few yes-or-no questions at you? That will give me an idea of what you have remembered.”

“Yes, if I remember and no if I don’t?”

“That is the idea. You can add more details and ask questions if that helps you confirm the memory.”

“Okay.”

“Your father’s arrest?”

“Yes.”

“The Bosmer gangmasters?”

“Yes.”

“Your time in Torval?”

“Mostly. Is that alright to say?”

“Of course. I don’t expect you will have full recall.”

“The dungeon before Baa’Ren-Dar rescued you?”

“Yes.”

“Bruma Embassy when you sought revenge?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“The time Angi found you and looked after you?”

“Yes.”

“Your leap into the tree?”

“Yes. Sort of. I remember jumping but not the falling.”

“Rose?”

“Mostly.”

“You were in and out of consciousness, so a vague memory of Rose is unsurprising.”

“I remember you and Celestine and Meeko and that small camp. I remember upsetting you with harsh words.”

“It was a relief to see your anger. It meant your will was strong and recovery was certain.”

“Were my harsh words at the farm a relief to you?”

“Yes, and for the same reason.”

“Next question.”

“Do you remember Fort Black?”

“Yes, and how you killed all those New Order sentries from a mile away in the dark.”

“I know you remember we found Sorella in a cell.”

“Oh, that scared me. I was terrible to you later because of that.”

“And I understood some of why that happened. However, I didn’t know your full story then.”

“No, you didn’t. I had to tell you piece by piece.”

“Our first trip to Riften?”

“You ignored my protests about that red dress. And you got a bit mad at Baa’Ren-Dar. And we were attacked by some Argonian mercenaries.”

“The hot springs?”

“Pervert!”

“Hussy!”

“Oh, I remember Mr Tibbs and that nice fossil lady.”

“Windhelm and Sethri?”

“What a dump! And you got into a fight within a few feet of the entrance!”

“Mr Bear.”

“Yes! He was so cute and cuddly.”

“Olette.”

“She is adorable and very mature for a girl her age.”

“Inigo.”

“Please tell me he is blue, and that is not a false memory.”

“Yes, he is blue.”

“He is a close friend of yours.”

“I have many close friends that I have known far longer than Inigo. But he has become very special to me, and I think it is because of his limitless humour and compassion despite the darkness in his life.”

“Not unlike somebody else you know.”

“Who?”

“Careful, I bite!”

“The dragons?”

“Vaguely. I have a memory of a mouth bigger than me trying very hard to swallow me whole.”

“Dragons chew first.”

“Lovely.”

“Alduin?”

“I was shocked when Fralia said I fought dragons and Alduin. I cannot remember Alduin, just that big mouth opening wide.”

“Azura?”

“Yes, and the pack of lies she told.”

“Diamond Ridge?”

“Mostly.”

“The New Order?”

“Yes.”

“The altar?”

“No.”

“It is not surprising you don’t remember the altar. You were unconscious. The New Order did something to you, making your memory wobbly.”

“Wobbly?”

“All over the place like a buckled carriage wheel.”

“Yes, it is wobbly. I like that word.”

“It is a good word, but not superb like Albatross!”

“If you say so, weirdo.”

“Do you remember what happened after you dropped the last flower?”

“We heard and felt most of the place collapse shortly after the bolt hit you. The place creaked and groaned as we quickly made our way outside. Then, as we descended, more of the place collapsed in a big cloud of dust. They hadn’t blindfolded me, and I could look around. I remember seeing a huge city carved into the rocks.”

“That would have been Markarth.”

“When we reached the bottom, Aedriath was furious! He had a big argument with some other New Order officers. They outranked him and issued orders. I don’t understand Aldmeri, so I had no idea what was happening.”

“They should have executed him!”

“The others placed a sack over my head, and then we travelled for ages. I remember a boat trip, and then they placed me in a cell and removed the hood. I was alone, in the dark, and called for you. Why did I do that, Wulf? How could you help me?”

“Guess what?”

“I will know why I called for you when particular memories return.”

“Yep.”

“Aedriath was not with them when they came for me.”

“Aedriath was trying to hold onto his toy and threw a tantrum when the grown-ups took it from him. He was not at the island stronghold when I got there.”

“Is that how he regarded me? Do you know who the others were?”

“Aedriath had different plans, but they were his superiors in The New Order and overruled him. We can review that later when you are ready because some things are unpleasant.”

“Okay.”

“What happened next?”

“I tried to struggle, but they hit me and forced me to drink something. Then all went black. That’s about it until I…”

“That’s enough, except for one last question.”

“Okay.”

“I need to understand why you don’t want to carry a sword anymore. I have a theory, but please explain it to me to ensure I am correct.”

“I want my life back. I realise now that it was all a lie and that my life has never been mine. Not really. I want to discover myself without the point of my blade in someone’s guts, without blood in the dirt. I want to discover why I had that dream. What is the little girl trying to tell me?”

Rigmor’s anger grew, and her voice became louder as she continued, “I don’t want to live with a killer inside me! I don’t want to have a ‘destiny’ or be the son I never was or could be!”

Rigmor was furious when she said, “I don’t want to care about that bastard anymore! I don’t want to be afraid or have to keep looking over my shoulder!”

Rigmor growled as she exclaimed, “I want to feel the sun’s warmth on my face again and go home. I want to be free, Wulf, and I don’t want to play this game anymore!”

Most of the people inside The Bannered Mare looked our way, recognised me and then pretended what was happening was none of their business.

I laughed, then said, “And there is the determined, confident Rigmor I adore. Welcome back!”

“By the gods. I feel sick. I remember everything!”

“Your memories, good and bad, make you who you are. Without them, you are somebody different and a shadow of the real you.”

“So, how do we move forward? What is next for us?”

“I don’t know, Rigmor. You don’t want to live with the killer inside you. How can you live with the killer opposite you?”

“No, we are not going there again, my silly Dragonborn! I love you!”

“I never want to leave your side. However, that is impossible if I am to continue as Champion of The Divines.”

“As long as you are by my side when you can be, that is all I ask of you. I thought you realised that we need each other, and that is all that matters. Tirnetha Marael!”

“Do You know who my parents are?”

Rigmor whispered, “I know everything about you, Valdr Septim, except why you think I could or would ever leave you.”

“I never want to break your heart. I never want you to regret our love.”

“I can’t think of anybody I would rather be with now or in the future.”

“Even if that is in small chunks as I get dragged all over the many planes by chaos? Even if you have to sit and wait as I enter the unknown with no certainty that I will return? You would be saying goodbye to me far more often than the wife of a soldier or sailor.”

“I will repeat my commitment to you a million times if I have to.”

“Not to me, Rigmor. The commitment is to us.”

“Yes, we need to be together.”

“I am glad we came here. Let’s relax and enjoy the music for a while.”

“Okay, but if that bard plays that Ragnar the Red song once again…”

“You will shove his flute or lute up his chute? At least Wilbur is better than Mikael, but I will go and warn him his anus is in danger!”

Rigmor laughed that laugh as I stood.

The inn became deadly quiet. Even if many tried to be discreet when snooping, I knew everybody watched and listened.

I approached Wilbur.

“Can I help you, Lord Welkynd, ah, Thane?”

“I know it is a crowd favourite, but can you please refrain from performing Ragnar the Red while I am here with my lady friend?”

“Why?”

“Her deceased father was a hero, and his name is Ragnar. Her grandmother was a renowned warrior named Fjona the Red. So, as you can imagine, that song irritates her.”

“I am sorry, Thane, but my art is my own.”

Wilbur did the worst thing he could have done and declared loudly, “I’ll sing any song I jolly well like!”

Rigmor stood and said, “If you sing that song again, it will be your head rolling across the floor.”

Wilbur dug his own grave by replying, “As if I have anything to fear from a little girl!”

Rigmor started walking towards him and yelled, “Is that so? We will see about that!”

As Rigmor walked towards Wilbur, he was stupid enough to stand there and stare at her with crossed arms. I quickly rushed to intercept my beloved.

Nobody tried to be discreet about their snooping anymore. This confrontation was first-class entertainment!

Vivienne, a young barkeep, stepped from behind the counter and stood defiantly before Rigmor.

She told Rigmor, “Get out! The Bannered Mare is a fine establishment, so get out before I call the guards!”

“Hey, lady, get out of my face!” was Rigmor’s not-so-polite reply.

“Guards, guards!” yelled Vivienne.

There are always guards posted near the entrance of The Bannered Mare. They are happy to act as bouncers, and one soon stormed through the front door as Vivienne, Wilbur, and Rigmor stared at each other.

The inn was silent.

As the guard approached, I quickly stepped between him and Rigmor. She would kick him in the cobblers if he touched her.

“What is the problem, Vivien?” the guard asked.

“Get them out of here. They are both barred!”

I said, “Rigmor, please wait near the door.”

Rigmor did as asked but added, “Hey, this place stinks! We don’t care.”

The Whiterun Guard said, “Okay, you two, you heard the lady. Out you go!”

The guard finally recognised me and stared in horror. He was evicting a Thane and thought that was not a brilliant career move.

I told him, “Relax, Guard Alfarnesson. You were brave and ready to fight beside me against the dragon. You are simply doing your duty and doing it well.”

“You remember me, Thane?”

“I made it a point to record all the names of those who bravely rushed to face that dragon. I apologise for Rigmor. I just rescued her from The Thalmor, and she is a bit disoriented.”

“Oh, I will ensure that Vivienne knows, but for now…”

“I had better remove Rigmor before she starts a riot.”

Vivien said, “I am disgusted. That is not how a lady is supposed to behave!”

Rigmor yelled back, “Who said I was a lady?”

With my back to Vivien and Wilbur, and using a bit of Thu’um to make my point, I said, “Rigmor Ragnarsdottier is a lady, and a hero. She fought beside me against the dragon that threatened Whiterun. She fought beside me for hours and saved countless lives when many dragons attacked Solitude. She fought beside me against other dragons. She was one of the Dragonguard who helped me defeat Alduin at The Throat of the World and in Sovngarde. Soon, you will hear of other heroic deeds of this young woman. You all owe Rigmor your freedom! I politely asked Wilbur for something reasonable, and in his arrogance and ignorance, he denied it loudly and condescendingly. I am disgusted. That is not how a bard is supposed to behave! And Wilbur, Lady Ragnarsdottier is quite capable of shoving your flute up your chute. Thank Vivien you can still crap without playing a tune.”

Peals of laughter filled the inn as Rigmor and I left The Bannered Mare.

We stopped halfway down the steps, and Rigmor looked at me while trying valiantly to suppress a laughing fit.

I told her, “Thanks, Rigmor! I am probably the first Thane in the history of Skyrim to get tossed out of his local inn.”

“Hey, don’t mention it!”

Rigmor laughed, and I stood mesmerised.

When she finally calmed down, I said, “You are something. I am unsure what, but yes, you are something.”

“Where shall we go now?”

“I think we should stay the night in my Safehouse in Solitude. Tomorrow, I will visit Thane Elisif the Fair. We will be safe there. However, while we are in Whiterun, I want to warn my friend, Ri’saad, about the possible invasion. Baa’Ren-Dar might have already warned him, but just in case, it won’t take long to visit him.”

“Ri’saad is a Khajiiti name.”

“Yes, he owns most of the Khajiiti caravans in Skyrim. He should be camped just outside the city gates.”

“I have seen many Khajiiti in Whiterun. Why is he camped outside?”

“Khajiiti are allowed in all the cities apart from Windhelm. However, they prefer to use campsites outside the cities for trading, as there are fewer time-wasters and more space. If somebody makes the effort to visit them, they are likely a legitimate customer. I also think some of Ri’saad’s people are used to a nomadic life and find the cities noisy and crowded.”

“There is a spa bath in your Safehouse, right?”

“Yep. You can have a bath.”

“What about food? Can you cook?”

“Yes, I can cook, but I have something else in mind. Trust me, you enjoyed the sausages and will swoon over what is delivered to my door.”

“Then lead on, banned from The Bannered Mare, Thane of Whiterun.”

When we exited Whiterun, we spent a minute admiring the sunset. Darkness would arrive quickly as the mountains blocked the waning sunlight.

Jormungandr’s bright green scales were visible for miles. I will have to ask him to roost elsewhere if a battle is to take place outside of Whiterun.

We made our way to Ri’saad’s caravan.

I greeted the many Khajiiti as I approached Ri’saad.

He stood to greet me with a huge smile.

“Khajiit is pleased to see his friend Wulf. Does that one have gems for trading?”

“Not at the moment, Ri’saad. Do you know of the possible invasion?”

“Yes, Emissary Baa’Ren-Dar told Khajiit of the danger. Khajiiti will decide what to do if and when the invasion starts.”

“How is trade?”

“Very good. People are starting to travel again. Even leaving the walls of Whiterun was feared when unfriendly dragons roamed the skies.”

“Both Warm Sands and Two Moons are operating. Hopefully, we shall have other Furstock populate them soon.”

“The news from Elsweyr is troubling. Thalmor stole our airships and now patrol both jungle and desert more efficiently.”

“Perhaps I shall get a chance to visit Elsweyr and finalise the trade routes soon.”

“Do not ask this one how Moonpaths work. Timetables and maps make more sense to Khajiit.”

“Blessings of The Nine on your caravans, Ri’saad.”

“Blessings of the two moons on you, Lord Welkynd.”

Rigmor was staring across the tundra.

Then she said, “Follow me, Dragonbum!” and sprinted away.

Kyne’s Peace was in effect, but it would only protect my beloved if I were close to her. Bounty hunters were also a risk, since we weren’t discreet. So I caught up with Rigmor and scanned ahead as we ran.

Just past the old, mostly demolished, outer defensive walls, Rigmor halted. I may have the walls completely removed, as they may impede any battle this close to the city.

I scanned the area and saw no danger. The tundra of Whiterun was different from The Rift. I suspected hidden beauty Rigmor could spot and bring to my attention caused this detour. However, that was something for the future. For now, we had to keep moving. The New Order would want Rigmor more than ever, but not for sacrifice, but for vengeance.

Rigmor blurted, “It was here?”

“What was here?”

“The battlefield in my dreams. I remember Whiterun’s walls, and there was a terrible storm.”

“Is this where the little girl brought you in your recurring dream?”

“Yes.”

“But you never completed the dream, did you?”

“No, because when she tries to show me something, I get scared, and the dream ends. Has there been a battle here before?”

“Not for a long time. But I expect one of the major battles with The New Order will happen here. If they don’t fight us on this plane, then they will march at us along the main road near the stables. They may even try a two-pronged assault.”

“Then why the dream?”

“Most people with foresight can’t make much sense of their visions. That is why a lot of them turn to Azura for guidance. But yours seems different. It is like you are having a repeating premonition rather than a dream.”

“I’m sorry, what…?”

“The little girl is trying to tell you about the battle that may occur here soon. Only by looking at what she is pointing to will you know what that is.”

“But why? I don’t want to be in the battle! That is for soldiers, not me!”

“Can you remember what I have told you about premonitions and prophecies?”

“They are possibilities, not certainties.”

“Correct. However, you might be nearby during the battle but not be fighting. You could be watching it unfold. But this is speculation. Once again, we might have to wait to figure it out.”

“You want to be here and fighting if this is where the war comes. Don’t you?”

“The New Order cannot win, but they will try. I think they will attack Whiterun, as every other invader of Skyrim has done. I never want to fight, Rigmor. However, defeating The New Order at Whiterun will shorten the war and reduce casualties. I kill quickly and efficiently so others survive. Therefore, I will fight The New Order here or wherever the main battle is.”

Sadness dominated Rigmor’s face.

“I am sorry, Rigmor. But I have my duties as Champion of The Divine.”

“I know you hate killing, Wulf. It saddens me to think of you in the midst of a battle. Come on. I need a long bath and food!”

We teleported into The Safehouse.

“Okay, my batman, I need a kimono and clean undies.”

“You trust me to select your undergarments?”

“Of course. You have seen what I like to wear.”

“Yes, they are very similar to what I like to wear to taverns on Loredas nights. I haven’t perfected your hip wiggles but enjoy the practice.”

“Guess what?”

“Weird?”

“Yep.”

We entered the spa room, and I turned on the water jets.

“Lady Ramsbottom, your humble servant has worked tirelessly to prepare your bath. Enjoy. Clean clothes will be on the bed.”

“You turned a wheel.”

“It hadn’t been used for some time and was rather stiff.”

“Yes, I have heard that can be a problem. Perhaps I can lend a hand next time?”

“Lady Ramsbottom!”

“And do not think I have forgiven you for that name, Dragonbum!”

Rigmor closed the doors to the spa room. I soon gathered her desired garments and left them on the bed.

I then went to another room and changed into a kimono.

About half an hour later, a clean Rigmor came down the steps and interrupted a good ‘stare into infinity’ session.

I asked, “Do you feel better?”

“Much better, but I wouldn’t use your privy for some time.”

“Purging?”

“That is an apt description for whatever it was that I just passed.”

“How delightful!”

“Now that I have made room, what are we eating?”

“Pizza.”

“Whatza?”

“A Colovian invention from the mid-3^rd Era. I understand if such refined dining is yet to reach the Nord barbarians of Bruma.”

“I wouldn’t know, since I was living in Torval.”

“Yes, I suppose by some miracle, an insane entrepreneur made a dent in the meat and potato market of Bruma by introducing the delicacy in the last four years.”

“Wulf!”

“Before we eat, I need you to read something.”

“What?”

“It concerns your heritage. We are to meet somebody at The College of Winterhold who was going to divulge this information. However, I thought it best I deliver the information instead so that we can discuss it.”

“Okay.”

We sat by the fire, and I handed Rigmor the tome that Savos Aron wrote.

“I am scared, Wulf.”

“It is nothing terrible, Rigmor.”

“Okay. Do I have to read it all, or can I ask questions as I go?”

“Do as you wish and ask as many questions as needed.”

“Okay, here goes!”

I watched many emotions cross Rigmor’s face as she read.

At times, she stopped and read slowly, tracing and retracing the words.

To my surprise, she read the entire book before asking a question. I was even more surprised at the first things she asked.

“Wulf, why did The New Order want me alive? Why was I fed that concoction? Has it something to do with what is in this book?”

“From the beginning, we suspected there was something more to The New Order’s plans.”

“Yes, and Lady Azura said they were working with a usurper from Oblivion.”

“That usurper is Malacath, and The New Order made an Oblivion Gate for him to enter Nirn. I am sure you have seen the remains of several Oblivion Gates around Bruma.”

“Yes, and I was taught about them by Mum.”

“And now you know your namesake, Rigmor of Cyrodiil, helped to destroy them and defend Bruma.”

“Yeah! That is cool!”

“Malacath was once a demigod called Trinimac and a warrior of Auri-El, much like I am a warrior for Lord Akatosh. Trinimac wanted to lead some Mer to a new land, and Boethia didn’t want him to. Subsequently, she defeated him in battle and turned him into Malacath.”

“I dimly remember a lesson about that. I wasn’t interested in that ancient history, and now you tell me I am knee-deep in it.”

“More like neck height at its shallowest.”

“Haha.”

“Malacath could have stepped through the Oblivion Gate as he is, but the plan was to restore him. He was to enter the mortal plane as Trinimac. To enable him to do so, they needed a soul he could use and its Lifeforce.”

“Those arseholes wanted to use my soul! Were they going to sacrifice me?”

“Yes. Trinimac would have been in the body of a slim, very attractive Nord woman.”

“But why me? Wouldn’t any soul do?”

“I think any victim that was prepared using the concoction would suffice. However, to attract devotees, they made up religious mumbo jumbo. The leaders of The New Order believed they needed a virgin with noble blood as the sacrifice. Originally, they were going to sacrifice a noble boy child, but he recently died in an accident. I think they knew of your Mede blood when they arrested your father. I am guessing a snitch within The College of Winterhold told them. After the death of the boy, you became their preferred sacrifice.”

“Could they tell if I am a virgin through some spell or other magic?”

“No, Rigmor, they would have to do a physical inspection. The condition of the maidenhead is a poor indicator of virginity, so it was senseless along with all the other religious mumbo jumbo.”

“So, they invaded my privacy for no logical reason. I am glad I was unconscious for that part.”

“Can you remember what Aedriath warned the Bosmer gangmasters?”

“They were warned not to rape me. That is when they started to beat me instead.”

“What does that suggest?”

“Oh, they must have considered me a potential sacrifice back then!”

“And you became expendable when they obtained the young noble boy.”

“How close was I to being sacrificed?”

“I rescued you from the sacrificial altar while the head priest chanted. At most, you were minutes away from death.”

“Mum said you faced great dangers to rescue me.”

“I had to enter different parts of Oblivion and kill many Daedra and mortals. That is a story for another day.”

“Aedriath didn’t want me to be the sacrifice, did he?”

“No, he did not. I recovered his journal just before you were captured. He wanted to replicate what happened to Ragnar. He is insane, Rigmor, and thinks he will become a god.”

“He wanted to parade me through Alinor and publicly execute me as he did to Dad. No wonder Aedriath was annoyed when his superiors took me from him.”

“So, in a roundabout way, your Mede bloodline led you to that sacrificial altar.”

“And Lady Azura didn’t rescue me. You did!”

“Lady Azura didn’t even know who the usurper was. Lady Boethia told me about Malacath and where to find you. She lied as much as all other Dark Lords and only knew of your whereabouts because she has spies amongst The New Order.”

“All the bits of the puzzle are starting to fit together.”

“We still don’t know why Lady Azura showed such interest in you. She may have known about your Mede bloodline, but that isn’t unique. Many other people are closer relations to Mede emperors. And unlike my Saint Alessia blood, Mede blood isn’t special. It carries no blessings or powers.”

“Two hundred years means many generations before me carried Mede blood. Why not show interest in Dad or his ancestors? Why would gods show interest in me and not others?”

Rigmor is intuitive, and I think Our Quiet lets her read my mood with uncanny accuracy.

Rigmor asked, “Wulf, is it because we have Entwined Souls that gods are interested in me? You think that might be the case, don’t you?”

“Lady Boethia did not know I was a dragonborn. If she didn’t know that, then it is obvious that Daedric Lords would be ignorant of your bloodline unless told, and there is no way they could detect our Entwined Souls. Lady Azura may have known of your Mede heritage through her seers, not some non-existent ability. She is the only god we know for certain that has shown interest in you, Rigmor.”

“But still, Lady Azura showed interest in me and not the many other people with Mede blood.”

“We don’t know that. Lady Azura may have been trying to manipulate hundreds of lives. We must concentrate on what we know and put aside some unanswered questions.”

“My Dad’s name and reputation will be restored. That will make Mum very happy.”

“And His Imperial Majesty will do that even if you reject the position of Countess.”

“What happened to Count Carvain?”

“I don’t know.”

“What about his wife and Sofia, his daughter?”

“I don’t know. That is why I want to visit Jarl Elisif. If she doesn’t know, we might find out when we visit The College of Winterhold. The vacancy in Bruma must be very recent. Otherwise, we would have heard about it.”

“I am eighteen years old, Wulf. How could I run a County?”

“Your empathy is the most important qualification. Advisors would assist with the day-to-day responsibilities.”

“I just want a normal life! What about our farm, Wulf? No, I couldn’t do it and won’t do it.”

“Being Countess would not require you to sit in a castle every day and would leave plenty of time for us to enjoy the farm. You could do it, Rigmor!”

“What makes you think I am capable of being the Countess of Bruma?”

“When you see a beggar, what is your first impulse?”

“To do what you do. I want to give the beggar some money so they can have a meal.”

“What do you think when you see a beggar?”

“Why, when wealth surrounds them, are they forced to beg?”

“And there is the empathy I said is your most important qualification. It is impossible to eliminate homelessness, as mental illness is often involved. However, a few charitable coins are a temporary solution. As a countess, you could make changes in Bruma to reduce the need for people to beg. But if you provided shelter for those who can’t earn a living, the insane and mentally ill would also benefit. You could be a real noble.”

“A noble who serves the people. That appeals to me.”

“The politics of Cyrodiil are infamously dirty and convoluted. The Mede dynasty has reduced the open warfare between Counties, but His Imperial Majesty has no heirs. He has lost two sons under the age of twenty. His daughter was only ten when she and his wife were lost at sea. The future stability of Cyrodiil and The Empire will depend on who His Imperial Majesty names as Heir Apparent.”

“You think I would not have much to worry about politically while Mede still lives?”

“I think he will protect you, but would have to be careful when doing so.”

“If others think I am a favourite, they may start plotting my downfall.”

“See, there is nothing wrong with your political sense. You would do fine in that department.”

“And you would be there to help me!”

“Rigmor, I would be like a fish out of water concerning the politics of Cyrodiil.”

“If I can ever bring myself to wield a sword again, I could introduce diplomacy with a greatsword. That would be far more interesting!”

“Yes, the ability to chop political opponents in half is an essential skill of any young countess.”

“My farts would smell like roses!”

“You could dictate what songs can be sung in Bruma’s inns and taverns.”

“No more Ragnar the Red!”

“Your grandmother was Fjona the Red.”

“Ragnar the Red combines the name of Dad and Gran. No wonder I hate the song!”

“I am not comfortable with His Imperial Majesty offering you the position as compensation. You have earned it by merit. You are a hero, Rigmor, and like Ragnar, deserve to be rewarded for your actions.”

“That would probably be more acceptable to other Counts and Countesses.”

“Your Mede blood would also have to remain a secret.”

“Yes, no matter how diluted, it could turn others against me. They might think I would become a contender for the Ruby Throne.”

“And there is more evidence of your understanding of the dirty political game of Cyrodiil.”

“I might have to play the game, but I will never sink to their level of pettiness and spite.”

“Do you have other questions?”

“For some reason, the name Jonte Malesam seems familiar.”

“We found his journal when we rescued Sigunn, and I read it to the group. He was a spy for Boethia and acted as a liaison between his mistress and me. He abandoned his mission when The New Order vandalised Azura’s shrine.”

“What is he like?”

“I disliked him intensely, but his daughter, Cerys, is quite nice. Celestine knows her and says she is one of the kindest people she knows. She is probably a few years older than me and would be a helpful ally amongst the crusty old men and women likely to be your advisors.”

“Well, the Arch-Mage is probably a smart arse like you and therefore has excellent reasons for making Malesam my advisor. As for being my protector, that position is already taken.”

“By somebody that I know?”

“Yeah, he is weird and has a terrible sense of humour.”

“You have done very well, Rigmor. This information was a lot to absorb after being bombarded by returning memories. However, I thought you remembered enough to put it in context.”

“This information has helped me realise why certain things occurred in the past and now.”

“Can you remember why you thought the Daedric Amulet of Talos and the sword led to The College of Winterhold?”

“One of Baa’Ren-Dar’s soothsayers told us that.”

“The soothsayer may have had a vision that Lady Azura interpreted. She then instructed them to tell you and Baa’Ren. When she claims to manipulate people, that is how she does it.”

“I will probably think of more questions later.” 

“Then let us head outside. It will be dark in Whiterun by now, but the mountains are not so intrusive here. So, you get to see another sunset.”

“Cool!”

We stepped outside, and Rigmor was mesmerised by the view and the people below.

I asked, “Are you wondering what they are doing?”

“Yes, and I can see that some couples are moving slowly, with hands held or arms intertwined. They are lovers or married people. Many children are running around, as they probably have been all day. I am surprised to see them at this hour.”

“The streets of Solitude are safe. I can see a child I know is an orphan I sent to my orphanage here. That carefree attitude is what a child’s life should be like. Adult worries and other problems should not intrude. I was saddened to see no children doing the same in Whiterun. The streets there are just as safe and usually full of laughing children.”

“My friends and I were the same in Bruma, Wulf. We also ranged far and wide in the countryside, as most predators had been removed and bandits were rare. I missed the transition between carefree child and adult.”

“Many people I see below are weary from their day’s labour and are heading for a well-earned sleep. All those normal, innocent people are what I fight for, Rigmor. Most are content with a simple home, fair pay for their labour, and safety for their family. The New Order wants to deny them these things and will not be the last who try to do so during my lifetime.”

“What about in Akavir?”

“Most people on Nirn do not want war, do not hate other races and support freedom of religion. The Altmer are a good people, and they have far more in common with Nords than differences. The same with the races of Akavir.”

“Did you hear that low, growling sound?”

“No?”

“It was my stomach begging for food!”

“Okay, sit down, and I will explain Pizza, and then you can select a topping.”

“Okay.”

“Think of Pizza as a large, round flatbread covered in tomato paste and other ingredients. They are baked in special ovens and sliced into sections. The pastry is more complex than flatbread, but that gives you the idea of what they look like.”

“Do we need utensils?”

“NO! That would be sacrilege! There is an art to eating Pizza, especially if it’s soggy from the toppings. Hands only!”

“Okay. What flavours are there?”

I opened the magic menu and said, “There is an unlimited variety, but each Pizzeria has its own selection. Necro Pizza offers Pizza Nordica, with horker, mammoth cheese, and cabbage. Pizza Imperiale has Cyrodiil Spadetail, tomato and goat cheese.”

“That sounds fishy to me.”

“Leave the bad jokes to me. And hey, the whole tavern laughed at my joke earlier.”

“I don’t think Wilbur did.”

“Pizza Sheogorath has cheese, cheese, cheese, more cheese, and spicy peppers. Pizza Aldmeris has Indrik Heart carpaccio and wilted greens.”

“What is an Indrik?”

“Large deer like creatures covered in fronds, feathers and fur. They are very cute!”

“And Altmer eat them?”

“Only their hearts, and raw. That is what carpaccio means.”

“They dare call us barbarians? Why not fluffy kitten pizza?”

“That is an option if you want.”

“Wulf!”

“Only kidding. Anyway, there is Pizza Bretoria, which has Breton Pork sausages and peppers.”

“Breton don’t like Orsimer, so I would be worried about what a Breton Pork sausage is.”

“Haha. And finally, there is Pizza Nerevarine, which has ham and hypha fascia.”

“What is hypha fascia?”

“A type of mushroom that grows on trees. It can cause hallucinations and even a murderous frenzy.”

“I bet they don’t sell many of them!”

“Yeah, they are only for fun-guys.”

“I hate you.”

“Well, choose your topping.”

“The one with the fish.”

“Okay, I will order a Pizza Imperiale and a Pizza Sheogorath.”

 I tapped on the menu a few times and closed it.

Rigmor asked, “Well, what happens now?”

“The pizzas will be delivered via a portal within fifteen minutes, or they are free.”

“Why are they called Necro Pizza?”

“The cooks are Skeletal Warriors. The restaurant is underneath The College of Winterhold.”

“Undead make the food we are about to eat?”

“Don’t worry, they have to regularly pass inspections to ensure only fresh, safe pizzas are made and delivered. I guarantee there will be no stray hairs in your food! They are the worst, especially if curly.”

“I am trusting you, Wulf. These Pizzas had better be good!”

“Good but weird, just like me!”

“I am going to enjoy the changing colours of the sky and pretend you are not here.”

“Harsh!”

Rigmor smiled, and we waited patiently for the pizzas.

I heard a portal open up the stairs, and then a Skeletal Warrior came down them, carrying our pizzas.

It said, ‘Pizza delivery. Thank you for your order.”

I took the pizzas from it, and then another portal opened. The Skeletal Warrior walked into it and vanished.

Rigmor looked at the pizzas with suspicion. But after one bite, she scoffed them down like bacon and eggs or Sweetrolls.

Half an hour later, we were left with two empty pizza boxes and smiles.

I asked, “Well, my doubter, what do you say now about pizza?”

Rigmor let out an impressive belch, and we both laughed.

We stood, hand in hand, and watched the Aurora.

It was so bright the sea reflected it.

Rigmor asked, “What makes the Aurora?”

“Would you like me to tell you a folk tale that explains it?”

“Yes, please! I would love that!”

“When souls ascend to Aetherius, their sorrow dissipates, no matter how arduous their earthly existence had been. They retain vivid recollections of their past and know they have reached their eternal abode, abandoning all worries and tragedies. They remain aware of the suffering endured by those they left behind, yet also carry the solace that one day their loved ones will join them in Aetherius, where they too shall find serenity and release from burdens.

Those who were once aged, infirm, or afflicted with physical impairments find themselves rejuvenated upon entering Aetherius. Even the Minotaur, who had their wings cruelly torn from them by racist captors, are restored in this realm of boundless compassion.

Within the celestial realm of Aetherius, souls revel in profound joy, gracefully swaying with lanterns in hand that emit iridescent hues to colour the aurora. The lanterns move to the rhythmic cadence of their enchanting dance, causing the Aurora’s movement. Minotaur, now soaring freely, share in their mirthful laughter, traversing between the dancing spirits.”

“That is wonderful! Do you write poetry?”

“I did when a child, but for many years my writing has been academic. Although imbued with emotion, my journals are matter-of-fact and are not quality prose. Perhaps one day I will have the time to write purely for enjoyment once more.”

“But you write songs.”

“Yes. I wrote one about the Aurora. Would you like to hear it?”

“You don’t have an instrument.”

“Remember Cethnelor, my four-dimensional chest in Aetheron?”

“Yes.”

A second later, a lute appeared in my hands.

Rigmor said, “That is kind of creepy, but also cool.”

I played a bit while I tuned the instrument, then began.

• You might wonder,
• “What stirs the lights that dance above?”
• Prepare to be awed,
• The Aurora should be celebrated by all.

• When souls depart and join The Nine,
• They leave pain, burdens and regrets behind.
• They rise where starlight gently glows,
• To where eternal comfort flows.

• They dance, they sing, they shine so bright,
• With lanterns glowing in the night.
• The old are strong, the lost transcend,
• Such joy begins when souls ascend.

• The blind can see, the bent can run,
• The weary rest, eternal life begun.
• Regal Minotaurs, once torn, now fly,
• Their wings restored, they roam the sky.

• They dance, they sing, they shine so bright,
• With lanterns glowing in the night.
• The sky becomes a joyful blend.
• Of love and light when souls ascend.

• They’re not gone far, they watch, they wait,
• Beyond the veil, beyond the gate.
• They know we’ll come, they know the way,
• And laugh for us at break of day.

• They dance, they sing, they guide the light,
• They warm the chill of winter night.
• So, when you see the colours bend,
• You see the place where souls ascend.

• You see the place where souls ascend.

Rigmor had tears in her eyes.

“I wasn’t that bad, was I?”

“No, you silly Dragonborn. That was beautiful.”

“As were the times you sang for me.”

“You once sang a song about how people, and gods, did not trust your intuition and instincts regarding me.”

“It was difficult, Rigmor. But that is behind me now.”

“What about the stars? You told me they talk to you, but what are they made of?”

“You would know that when you get away from the lights of a city, you see more stars. They are even there during the day, but you can’t see them because of the bright sun.”

“Some say that they are holes made by Magnus and the others when they refused to join The Divines in creating Nirn.”

“That is religious mumbo jumbo. The scientific explanation is far more interesting. The stars are other suns, like ours but far away. Planets like Nirn orbit those distant stars. Some are home to people so weird in looks and manners we can’t comprehend or imagine them. I saw some souls of beings from other worlds float by in The Void when I was…I was…”

“When you were on your way back to me.”

“Yes, if you want to look at it that way.”

“Well, the other sun idea is far more interesting than holes! What about the moons? It is a pity we can’t see them at the moment.”

“They are New Moons tonight, so they will only be skinny crescents. They are made of cheese.”

“Hahaha! You don’t believe that, do you?”

“Khajiiti, like all cats, love milk. But big round blobs of milk would not last long up there. The next best thing to milk is cheese. Therefore, the Khajiiti gods made big cheese balls that could survive. Khajiiti, being cats, love cheese, which is why they worship the moons.”

“I can tell you are lying, my Guardian.”

“How?”

“Your mouth is moving.”

“Ouch, my wounded pride!”

“You’ll survive.”

“Do you like camping? We haven’t had a chance as it has been too dangerous.”

“I would rather sleep out under the stars than in some inn.”

“Well, we won’t be able to book a room at The Bannered Mare for some time.”

“Hahaha!”

“That laugh! Remember when you were so angry in Windhelm, and then we talked.”

“Another of my ‘take it out on Wulf’ moments. Yes, I remember we sat and talked, and I laughed about naming my horse after Baa’Ren-Dar and his growls.”

“We had just finished talking about some of the darkest of times. You survived horrors that would crush most people and turn them bitter. You still didn’t know if Sigunn lived or where she was.”

“You cried as I told my tale. It wasn’t the first time, and I knew why. You were with me when I was in that dark cell and when Thalmor flogged me when I was fourteen. You came to me when I called after I fell near Angi’s. When I leapt into the trees near Riverwood, you came to me. That is why I called for you again when Aedriath captured me. But you couldn’t come, for you were in The Void. You say your love for me helped you escape The Void. But I think that was harder because you thought you failed me, and that I would reject you. That fear is still with you, my silly Dragonborn.”

“Yes, and that fear causes havoc whenever we are apart.”

“Wulf, will you make love to me?”

I stared at my beloved.

After a few seconds, she laughed and said, “Don’t look so stunned. An answer would be nice.”

“Are you sure? That is a big step to take and…”

“Shh! You have woken the woman in me. You found her and dragged her out into the sunshine. Now she is here, and I love and want you. I have never been so sure of anything in my whole life.”

I stood like an idiot with my mouth open. I didn’t know what to say.

“I will take that blank look as yes. Give me five minutes. I will wait for you in the bedroom.”

As Rigmor entered the Safehouse, I thought about what this meant.

Did I think this would be a mistake? Did I have reservations? Not for a second! I am not a slave to lust. I do not have this overwhelming need to experience the pleasures of the flesh. I do not judge those who pursue such things with willing partners. Rigmor and I are deeply in love. I knew she wanted and needed this for far more complex reasons than lust, and so did I.

The life Mede offered made me pause. Should she know of my reservations about marriage under Coverture laws before we take this next step? We have anticipated this moment, and if it weren’t for her capture, we would have made love days ago. No, this was the right time, and nothing changed that.

I waited a few minutes, then made my way to the bedroom.

My beloved sat naked on the bed, her scar-riddled back prominent in the bright lighting.

Rigmor said, “This is a different bed than the one I saw a while ago.”

“I didn’t like it. It was too chunky.”

“Oh.”

Rigmor was very nervous, and so was I.

I told her, “I am a virgin, Rigmor. I was positive I would meet you again after that first time when you were fourteen. I have had many offers from males and females I admire and respect, but I wanted you to be my first and only lover. Many of those I have told of that desire thought I was insane or naive. However, nobody else experienced the connection we had then and have rediscovered. Nobody understood my intuitive certainty that we would be together again.”

“As you explained in that song. I would like to hear it again.”

“What? Right now?”

Rigmor answered, “No, you idiot. Anyway, it is beautiful you waited, Wulf, but I was hoping you would know what to do!”

I laughed and suggested, “I could grab a couple of illustrated manuals from the museum library.”

“Wulf!”

“We shall learn together, Rigmor.”

I disrobed and walked towards my beloved.

She asked, “But I am wretched and ugly. How can anyone love me?”

“You are the most beautiful woman on Nirn, and I love you more than life itself.”

“But my body is scarred. I’ll understand if you don’t want to.”

“Your scars, temper, eyes, laugh, determination, and a million other parts go together to make the woman I love.”

I stood in front of Rigmor, but she averted her eyes.

I said, “Look at me, Rigmor.”

Rigmor looked, but not into my eyes. She gasped, “Oh, my!”

I laughed and said, “I meant look into my eyes.”

Together, we unravelled the secrets of kissing and taught each other the precise placement, timing, and intensity of each tender touch.

Laughter and bashfulness gradually gave way to sighs, moans, and confidence as we embarked on a journey of exploration, discovery, and profound affection.

In the presence of my desire, Rigmor’s insecurities about her beauty vanished.

When her heart and body signalled readiness, Rigmor guided me gently, paving the way for our intimate connection to unfold.

Initial twinges of discomfort gave way to insatiable longing as our skin warmed and our breaths grew heavier, letting us move slowly, steadily, and blissfully.

And then, in perfect harmony, we merged as one.

Everything else ceased to exist but us.

No sounds prevailed except for our synchronised breaths, our collective exhalations of pleasure and desire.

No fragrances lingered in the air except for the mingling scents of our hair, breath, sweat, and passion.

No flavours remained on our tongues, save the taste of our entwined lips, the sweat on our skin, and the bittersweet essence of tears shed in ecstasy.

Every sensation centred on mutual pleasure, emphasising the joy of giving and receiving delight in harmony.

Guilt had no place here, and doubts were banished, for we had willingly shared our bodies, souls, and love.

It felt undeniably right.

It was a moment of pure celebration of love and passion, an exquisite beauty that felt both grand and meaningful.

Rigmor’s climactic peaks served as a jubilant celebration of womanhood itself, her body trembling with ecstasy, her breath ragged, and her smile radiant. And as fate would have it, her ultimate crescendo coincided harmoniously with mine, our shared pleasure echoing in perfect unison.